Mom has lived with me for almost two years. When I picture moving mom out of my house I feel guilty but I know this change needs to take place. Mom will be upset but I'm hopeful she will settle in and make some friends her own age! Currently she watches TV all day long and can barely move around.......her doing......and what she wants! I broke down and cried....hard.....today.....it's just so emotional for me........that and the fact that my family is so dysfunctional.....my mom has cut one of my siblings out of her life....haven't spoken to each other in almost two years! I need peace in my life and no longer want to be in the middle of anything because I can no longer try to create happiness for my mom or my dysfunctional family.....I'm done! It's time to focus on me, my husband and teenage kids.......sigh.....this sucks! Feeling guilty! Anyone else go through this?
On NPR on the show "This American Life" they repeated a story about a child with autism who was getting violent at home. After 13 years, the family had to give up and put him into a residential facility and he did much, much better in a facility designed for kids with autism. But he did cry like crazy the first day when they left him.
Some NH's and ALF's are horrible places, but some are very very good. I hope your situation works out well for both of you.
And if you see something that you decide is, after all, unacceptable - then keep looking. Managers change; what suits one person won't suit another; word of mouth is the best referral but it's not 100%; and if this one isn't right then another one will be. Keep thinking of your mother in this place, and whether you'd be happy with how she's being looked after.
And fingers crossed, you'll come away feeling a good deal more confident! And more sure of yourself when you discuss it with your mother, because you really will have done your homework on this. Best of luck, I'm sure you're making the right plans x