She seems more confused and at times depressed. We have tried several things to help with her confusion but, they do not seem to be working. For instance she needs to walk down to dinner, before her move I think she would have had no problem finding her way now all of sudden she cannot remember how to get there. We are not sure if she is faking it for attention or if she is more confused because of the move. She seems to do fine finding places when we are with her even though we do not help her. That is why we think she ma be faking but, then, the living center called us and said she was getting lost.
Also, alert the staff that she's having trouble (they've likely already noticed). They can be on the lookout for her retreating to her room or showing other signs of being 'lost'.
She may well be faking, and if she has narcissistic tendencies, that may be the case. But another possibility is that people with dementia are often able to call on their (limited) mental reserves when their kids are around. I've seen this again and again. Some people seem so much more 'together' when their kids are around. She spent her whole adult life guiding her children. Her 'brain power' in that role can kick in a lot easier than when she's on her own or with staff. Give her time. Often, people with dementia will pair up in really lovely and supportive friendships, filling in each other's cognitive gaps. We all like to take care of somebody, even when we're being taken care of ourselves.
The staff at the assisted living center should understand this and step up to help her. For example, they could put a sign near her door handle with an arrow showing her which way to go to the dining room, and a sign outside her door with her name or picture to identify her apartment. You don't say how long she has been there, but give her a few weeks or a month to get used to the routine and the layout. If she is faking, she will probably soon get tired of keeping up the act and move on to some other annoying behavior!
Hopefully the staff has a system for new residents, to help them remember. But if not use the kind of things you would with a child...and give her time to adjust. She will. Hugs to you.
Sometimes I have to figure out where I'm at in our local department store (okay, which way did I come in and how do I get back there? That, and the doctor's office......guess that's why they put those signs up with arrows to "checkout" for people like me! Best of luck to you, Frances87! I hope everything works out for you....so you may find peace.....and for your mom......that she finds her way in her new home and gets used to it.......
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