Mom is on comfort care (like hospice) which means no life extending treatments, no tests, PT or x-rays, and no iv's, feeding tubes, or CPR etc. We agreed the NH should treat for UTI as that falls under keeping her comfortable. At 101, 82 pounds, with a fractured pelvis, broken arm and dementia Mom will never recover, walk again or care for herself, needs 24/7 care and will live in the moment and constantly try to get up.
One of the questions on the list was if she develops upper respiratory distress, should they x-ray and treat or just administer oxygen. I told them I couldn't make that decision without my sister, and she too, does not know what to tell them, whether it is right to prolong things with antibiotics or keep her comfortable and let her pass naturally.
So, I am asking my forum friends, what would you do? What is the right thing to do?
Our treatment goal for our Mom is to use whatever medication is necessary to keep her comfortable but not to prolong her life. To us, the use of an antibiotic would only prolong her life. It would not improve the overall quality of her life.
My Mom was also trying to climb out of bed and numerous times her room-mate would signal the nurse as Mom would get either caught up in the rails below the bed [it was set as low as it could be] or she fell on the mat.... also kept trying to climb out of her geri-recliner getting her legs tangled up in the metal parts.
But that heart was healthy as all get out !! The doctors/nurses/aides were amazed my Mom was still with us at that time. I, too, was so physically and mentally exhausted... I thought my Mom was going to outlive me.
As Veronica91had mentioned, pillows can help, the nurses would put a pillow under Mom's knees while in the recliner, and that would help slow Mom down from trying to climb out.
My Mom also had the air mattress where the side would cradle her, but she would still find some way to try to climb out. It was so sad to see. I was always trying to put her legs back to the middle of the bed, and my gosh Mom was so terribly thin. And Mom would also pick at the sheets, like she was trying to make something that looked like an old fashioned fan.
Like you, every time I left after seeing Mom I would think, please Lord take her.
I have heard a palliative nurse say that they can control their deaths up to a point, if she wants you there she will hold on until you are present, if she goes at night it will be because she preferred it that way.
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