My mom has begun to shadow me apparently. She is vision impaired along with the dementia, she is not following me around so to speak.
When I leave the room she has started to say " Hello?" "Are you there" "Where are you?" It is continual until she sees me, regardless of the fact that she can hear me.
She only does that with me, not my siblings or my spouse, or anyone else that visits daily. I am her caregiver 24/7, so I sense this may be the reason.
I have noticed that when I explain to her what I am going to do, the calling after me is much worse. I have attempted to keep her engaged in an activity while I take care of chores, cooking, whatever. I have also tried to talk to her from the other room to reassure her. Anybody have any suggestions in this regard? .
Mine has a little trick when she hears me coming up the hall past her room, She will be watching something on tv (often it is the news, so it is not even appropriate to laugh at it) she gives this little laugh hoping you will stop and ask her what's so funny.....one day when we lived in our house and she was in her apartment upstairs and not supposed to come down stairs alone, I had gone outside to talk on the phone, turned around, and there she was, with a big smile on her face, because she had "outed" my location and discovered where she was........
I just had to stop this message because she came out to the kitchen to put her lunch dishes in the sink -- and guess what? here she was standing here in front of the computer, READING EVERY SINGLE THING ON THIS PAGE!!
I have to close out my windows every time or she will stand here and read everything - messages to others, my messages, pages and websites I look at etc.
She also has no compunction about looking at personal letters, greeting cards or especially bills and income tax papers that are NOT hers -- if you cross her on it she gets all defensive and turns it around on you -- "you always have to make a big deal out of everything".........EXCUSE me??
You know what this is? From what I have read on here, it is sense of entitlement -- she's always been a nosy busybody and not well-liked in our town. Obviously nothing has changed even now she is older!! It disgusts me. There is no privacy even in my OWN home.
FedupNow, you are so right about everything. Thanks for validating.
My mom was 96 and she passed away on Feb. 1st of this year. I wasn't there when she passed and it kills me inside that I wasn't. Somehow I think my mom knew she was dying and wanted me to be with her when it happened. I just wished that I was. I had so much to say to her.
I know how demanding it is to be a caregiver. You need time for yourself too. But go that extra mile and be patient with them. They do it out of need for you and they feel secure knowing that you are there also they fear that something happened to you. Just let them know you are around cause if they pass away and you aren't there, you will feel really bad, like I do. And don't forget to tell them you love them everyday.