Hi....My dad has COPD and decided to go on Hospice about 3 months ago. He is not passing anytime soon. He decided he just didn't want to have to go to the doctors anymore and was content never having to leave the house again. It's a long story. Anyway, my dad was very independent and was managing by himself. A couple weeks ago he fell a couple time and went downhill mentally and physically. Again long story. My dad now needs 24/7 care. My sister lives an hour away and I live almost 2 hours away. We both have careers and have since taken turns staying with him and taken care of him. We have had to take several days off work. We also discovered my dad doesn't have any money to get assistance. Between his pension and Social security he does not qualify for Medicaid and Medicare is not going to work either. He wants to stay on Hospice care. He does not have enough money for private help and me and my sister will go broke if we have to pay for his care. It's crazy. The only option at this time is for him to move in with me and use what money he has to pay for care while I am at work. I am a single woman who has a successful career. My dad is doing much better and can probably go on for another couple years. He is currently in a hospital bed in the middle of his living room with a catheter. How am I going to do this? I am so scared, angry, resentful, sad. I have been trying for years to get him to move closer to me. He always said no. Now he is moving in with me. And to find out he has no money set aside for care. How am I going to do this? Deb
You get dad to an eldercare attorney and set up a Miller Trust. It will allow him to qualify for Medicaid.
Try to find a facility that accepts what he gets or a VA NH.
I hate to sound harsh but he has no right to ask you to give up your life because he is done living his. I'm surprised that hospice accepted him if he has no terminal diagnosis.
Best of luck.