My 92 year old mother recently fell. She is currently in rehab but we have been advised that she will be released within a few days. We have been told that she can no longer live alone as she is a fall risk. Living with me is not an option for a number of reasons. We just submitted her application for Medicaid for some financial assistance, but in the meantime what do we do while her application is being processed?
You wrote this above: " Living with me is not an option for a number of reasons."
Stand firm, despite what your brothers may suggest/urge. (Often the daughter is the one expected to take Mama in.)
Is one of your brothers closer in location than you are? Can you talk to both of them (conference call?) to discuss your mother's situation? Who has POA/HCPOA?
You mention Medicaid for "some financial assistance." Are you expecting Medicaid to pay for 24/7 in-home caregivers? (It won't, except in NYS, apparently.) What about a facility? Please tell us you aren't one of the ones who promised your mother that you would never put her in a facility!
Investigate funding, contact social services at her present site and ask what they consider her level of needed care to be, visit residential living sites available in your (her?) area that meet the sort of needs identified by her present rehab facility. Are you or the “caring” sibling available for site checks? Knowing what’s out there may be helpful for decision making however you decide to address her needs moving forward.
I wish I had taken action to formally assess my LO’s cognitive and emotional levels of functioning before she needed residential care. Because she looked fabulous and presented with a veneer of sophistication, and still does, her initial placement quickly proved to be inappropriate for her, and there were complications and family arguments about her care because none of us were prepared for the
fact that her dementia needed immediate attention, which was unexpected. Even if she passes ALL cognitive testing, it’s good to have a baseline for comparison if the time comes.
My last tip is to be “water on stone”. If you don’t get helpful answers the first time you ask a question, ask the question again, peacefully and non defensively. Sometimes people forget that although they are answering the same questions every day, some of the people asking are Asking for the first time.
Hope the path to success is relatively smooth for all of you. You will experience bumps and glitches. Come back and let us know how you’re doing, so we can learn from you and you can learn from us!