If you are caring for a parent of the opposite sex, you can't walk into a public bathroom to assist them. This happens when a daughter is caring for a disabled elderly father or a son is caring for a disabled elderly mother.
Not every caregiving adult child has a spouse or children to accompany them to public areas and be available to handle this situation.
Dad even wore a protective pad on those occasions, but when I'd tell him he could "just go" because he was wearing protection, he'd get angry. He wasn't going to "wet his pants." So, while wearing a brief can help (he'd eventually have no choice), it's not a humane and dignified answer to this problem.
I can't fix this for you, but I can tell you I do understand.
Take care,
Carol
When you gotta go you gotta go. Some women covered their daughters' eyes before entering; and again on their way out. Disabled elderly got assistance from their sons, daughters, and total strangers.
A unisex public bathroom isn't going to happen in our lifetimes, so do what you have to do. ... And don't be embarrassed to walk into a men's room to help your Dad. Just walk in and say "Sorry guys, but I have to help Dad." Some might become indignant and walk out; but most -- I dare to say -- will understand and go about their business.
Thanks again everybody.
Elizabeth