Asking for ideas. My mom suffers from dementia and a history of bilateral hip replacements. She is incontinent of both urine and bowel movements. We are having difficulty ensuring that she is cleaned properly. It takes multiple wipes to clean her and she tends to get angry with us over the whole ordeal. In her mind she feels she can do it herself. At this point she doesn't have the problem solving skills to complete the task. Considering a bidet. Would also like comments to others that have used a bidet.
With her history it likely is terribly painful for her to spread her legs far enough apart to help you or herself. My mother had a totally shattered hip socket and it was painful and also very misshaped until she died.
She was able to stand in front of the toilet on her walker for cleaning, but it definitely hurt her and was amazingly time consuming for us both, but I WAS able to do it by myself until she finally did go into residential care.
Are you using a barrier cream or ointment? If not you might want to try that. It will prevent fecal matter from drying in direct contact with her skin. And it can make wiping a bit easier. The trick is to apply it properly and not a lot of it but enough to provide a barrier. I used to pat it on rather than rubbing it on. Patting is more gentle and prevents putting on more than is necessary.
You could try a commode frame and seat placed over the toilet. This would allow you or whoever is caring for her the ability to reach under her and use a wipe or a very damp cloth to clean her.
Of course you can ask for information that suits you, but this background would help you straight away. Yours, Margaret
It also helps if she is feeling a bit constipated as the warm water relaxes her and there you go....
I always ask if the water is "nice and warm" and give her a moment to make the whole process a little more relaxing.