Every hour I need cold compress 15 min. Anesthetic means I need assist. upon leaving, can't drive. Must take 2 tylenol every 4 hr.
1st wk- no lifting heavier than a dinner plate, no bending past my heart, shower without water on the incision. No reaching above head. Bedtime place ointment on incision and eye, but will blur vision. Need to sleep elevated, not just pillow, and not on side. If I have excessive pain, bleeding, swelling, etc. call number listed. (Seems I should call 911)
I'm 81, the caregiver for my wife with dementia, balance problem, incontinence, memory problems. Can speak on phone but can't dial, feed herself, or bathe, dress, change. Gets lost in the home.
If she falls, I need 911 to get her up.
I think at this point you and your wife can no longer live in your home. I think finding a nice Assisted Living would be a good choice. Then the staff will be there to help you and care for your wife. You get 3 meals a day and snacks. You can leave if u need to knowing that ur wife will be safe and cared for. You will have activities and entertainment. Moms had holiday parties and birthday parties.
If you have the money to pay privately this would be my choice. You can sell ur home to help offset the cost. If you were able to get into rehab, I doubt wife would be excepted unless they have a nursing facility attached. You would have to pay privately for her care.
If you would have to hire someone to care for her you spend the same amount and hire someone to care for you and your wife. (it should not cost twice as much if they have to do light care for both of you)
Tell the truth you are safer at home than in a rehab facility. The high infection rate as well as the high number of people through a rehab facility places you and thus your wife in a higher risk group for picking up any infection, virus, bacteria that happens to be floating or swimming through the place.
The choices seems to be 24 hour live in CG to stay with you and your wife OR a short respite stay for her in a memory care or SNF setting.
It will be a challenging period of time, but you will get through it.