My husband and I are going to take a 3-4 day vacation. My mother is in pretty good health but her memory isn't great. She can basically take care of herself. Also, she lived along and did fine until just a few weeks ago when she came to live with us.
But I'm kind of worried about her. I'm going to ask her doctor for an opinion whether I should possibly find someone to stay for a few days or not. Partly, I wonder if I'm worrying too much. Partly, I'm not trying to treat her like a child, and I kind of think she'll resent it if I try to get someone in. She's too sharp for me to pretend it's anything besides what it is -- a senior sitter.
Any words of advice on this from others caring for someone with mild memory loss and mild health issues?
I don't mean there's no help available -- the local senior center has resources and someone gave me a tip to check the VA. The problem isn't that I don't think I can find anyone to help but more that I'm not sure how's she's going to take it. I think the comment that our first trip away could cause her to panic gives me the idea that I probably should really get someone to visit her. I wasn't going to leave without giving her phone numbers of our hotel, but I'm not sure that's enough.
What I'm starting to think I'll do is to tell her this:
"Mom, we're going away for a few days. I know you've lived perfectly fine without us your entire life and you don't need help, but I just would feel better if you'd let me find someone to check in on you. Would you do this for me to feel that I'm doing all I can for you? Will you try it just this one time, please?"
It's a real stick in her craw that we sometimes forget that we're the children and she's the parent -- we shouldn't be trying to baby her as we do, is her opinion. It's partly a matter of pride and partly stubbornness. This isn't recent -- we're a very independent group of people in my family and we don't like having people trying to boss us around. Hence, I'm trying to be cautious how I approach things with her, so that she knows I do still respect her as an individual and adult.
Maybe you can let one of moms close friends know you will be out and ask if they will take mom out for lunch one day and you give them a gift card to a local restaurant or whatever. Have another sibling call daily and speak with her or if they live nearby to visit with her or whatever.
Agree, take this much needed break and try not to worry,