Husband's aunt is now in a facility for Altz care. She is much worse there than she was at home (which is surprising because she was very difficult to deal with at home). She talks about babies, dead babies, sick babies, her daddy, her daddy bloody, people are coming to hurt her family, and seems to do it from different points of view. She will talk about a doctor and his name always starts with an F, but it is never the same name. If she's trying to say shirt it might come out as shoe but she doesn't notice. She pounds her hands together, pounds fists on her legs or the bed when yelling at you about something that makes no sense. We can't get her to focus on anything any more. They are switching up her meds at the home, but if I didn't know any better I would think there was something else going on with her mental health. She was a fantastic eater at home, but now she only eats maybe 1/2 of what they give her. It is very concerning!
Otherwise she is as healthy as a horse! But how long can someone continue like this? The change from a happy, agreeable little old lady to someone who no longer is anything of the person she once was was like someone flipped a switch. How is this good for her? What is next for her?
Has her medication changed since she was moved to the nursing home? If so, I'd be DOUBLY suspicious.
Be her advocate. She's miserable.
Do these seem to dissipate when you are visiting for a length of time? Does she get better when you are with her or accompanying her to an activity at the facility?
If this move is still new to her, she may be having an adjustment anxiety and is working herself up so that she can't get ahold of herself. She may need something prescribed in the short term to help her anxiety provided there are no underlying physical ailments.
Meet with her care team or social worker, director there and get their perspective. Ask if they have a support group you might join to share experiences and help you understand what could be happening.
This must be very hard and you are doing the right thing coming here to bounce it off others.
I'll call the home and ask some of the questions you all suggested. THANK YOU!
Dementia gets worse over time. Sometimes it is a slow gradual decline, sometimes it happens in fits and starts, sometimes it happens quickly. But it does get worse. Always.
Your dear Aunt has gotten worse. That particular decline started while she was still with you, and accelerated in the care center. It might have accelerated BECAUSE of the change in environment, or it might have happened even faster if you'd tried to keep her home. There is no way to know. Please don't blame the "if only" game! You did what was smart and necessary.
I agree that her medications should be discussed. Maybe getting off some or on others would help the symptoms. Keep checking out any indications of infection or illness. (For my husband, ANY physical distress, from a slight cold to constipation to being over tired or over heated, made his dementia symptoms worse.) Advocate for her, and do everything you can to work toward a more peaceful time for her.
BUT I don't know why anyone should be surprised that a person with dementia has gotten worse. That is what dementia does. This is not to say "give up" but what you are attempting is to ameliorate the worst of the symptoms, not to cure her or get her well. Stopping or changing meds MAY help, but I doubt very much it is caused by drugs. Learning to interact with her in soothing ways MAY help, but he behavior is not caused by inappropriate interactions. This dear woman has dementia. Dementia gets worse. Always.
I sincerely hope that with your advocacy and participation ways can be found to counteract what is going on, and you can once again have pleasant visits with her.
Now they want to meet with us to discuss "mental health" issues. I don't understand why we have to meet with the doctor to discuss - to me it would be appropriate to evaluate and then discuss options. Isn't that why she is there - to get the medical care she needs? Why delay it? The coordinator had the nerve to talk to me about her quality of life, which is something I brought up and spoke to her about weeks ago. Are we going to tip toe around everything now?
I found out today that they haven't even bothered to test for a UTI! I had a bit of a moment with them. I spoke with two different people about it over a week ago and no one collected a sample or spoke to the doctor about getting preventative antibiotics. Seriously? Got a call back this afternoon that they were going to start the antibiotic tonight.
Not real happy about things right now, but don't want to fly off the handle. They do have to care for someone who requires a lot of people. Counting to 10, and waiting for them to set up this meeting.
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