He just turned 90 and has vascular dementia. Live in his home of 36 yrs with his granddaughter and her family which includes 3 kids 5, 3, and 1. His decline from strokes now has caused him to choke on water. His voice is slurry and sometimes hard to understand. He can still walk and is still toileting by himself although we noticed wetness on his pants 3 times now. Also difficulty with his hands. Dropping things. I am afraid he is going to actually walk away eventually. My daughter has had to talk him into coming back inside a few times now. The last time he packed a bag and was going to hitchhike to his teenage home. We tried to place him in a residential care facility on Tuesday. He walked out the door 3 times and tried to get out the gate once. They called us and said we cannot keep him unless we can drug him. His drs. have been on vacation for a month now so I couldn't get him in. I do have an appointment for the 12th and I want approval to use CBD on him first before trying the Ativan. Please give me your opinion. I know I should place him but drugging him is not what I want but he has a contrary personality. When he was in the home on Tues (only there for 3 hours) he said he needed to get out of this "godforsaken hell hole". lol. That will be his attitude anywhere he is. He is so confused. This morning he got up at 2:30 fully dressed. Got his shoes on and I think he was so worn out just from that he laid down on the couch and slept till 6am. He couldn't get off the couch at first and called for help. A few minutes later my SIL was up. Dad went back to bed saying when he woke up he hoped he was somewhere else.
In this case, meds can be helpful! Sometimes it's a trial-and-error process though... one med may not work, and may need to try some other meds or alter dosages to get it right. But that is true for anyone regardless of age or mental issue.
He is agitated, upset, confused, all of it. Imagine always feeling like you need to go home but can't... it's rough on him too, and he needs relief. Meds can take the edge off to where he feels safe or calm, and he won't have the urgency to leave or "go home". Just try and see how he does.