My husband and I live with my mother, arrangement made ten yrs ago as she needed help and I was trying to work,raise 3kids and take care of her and run my house. Biggest mistake ever!!!!! Too late to change now. Need help on stopping or dealing with emotional abuse. I never do anything right, never do enough, run too much,work too much, etc. I am to the point that I really don't even like her. Then I feel overwhelming guilt. I'm not gonna change her, how do I deal with this.
I think that I would say that I don't tolerate that behavior and if you want to keep this behavior up (describe it in concrete detail) then you will need to find someone else to drive you.
After years of trying to be nice to an abusive narcissistic mother and being in therapy to find freedom, my wife finally told her mother, you keep this behavior up toward my children and you will never see them again. That got her attention quickly!
We take a take nor prisoners approach to boundaries. It works better that way.
I never do anything right - oh sorry! (cheerful one not a meant one) and walk away
never do enough - just going to make tea what do you fancy? (walk away - never ever engage on this one you will lose and getting angry is of no long run benefit to you)
run too much (yes I do, I love running AND insert husbands name loves how it keeps me firm and fit for him - they dont usually want to engage on that front let me tell you)then walk away
work too much- yes I agree.... cuppa mum? and walk away
Has she always been an emotionally abusive mom?
If she's always been emotionally abusive, then read the following thread and call a therapist today for an appointment.
https://www.agingcare.com/discussions/power-of-emotional-blackmailers-176430.htm
Good luck and let us know how things work out.
She needs her own place to live. As with most verbally and emotionally abusive people, when they think they are in control they become little monsters. Your home, your rules. This is your home, right?