After caring for my mother in our home for 6 years, she has reached a point where we can no longer provide the care she needs 24 hours a day. She is 85 years old and relatively healthy. Her Primary illness is Alzheimer's which has progressed to the point where she needs to be monitored almost 24/7.
We are now faced with the challenge of finding a safe and caring facility to place her in when she has very very limited financial resources and my family does not have a lot of money to contribute.
I am hoping through this forum to hear from other families that have already faced this challenge to gain insight into what suggestions they have.
My father too. He went from Medicare paid to private pay to Medicaid at the same facility. The place was crap across the board to begin with.
The day Medicaid started paying the care became almost zero. They downgraded him to room and board care where he basically got nothing.
You got lucky with the place your mom was in. That's unusual because there's almost always a downgrade in quality when Medicaid begins.
My granny was in a lovely, caring facility on Medicaid and her care was fabulous. The caregivers would give her hugs and kisses as they walked by, she always had a smile and a playful spirit about her. This wasn't affected in the least by being in a NH.
I recommend looking for non-profit, religious facilities. They may not be fancy but, they are putting the money into the residents not shareholders.
As long as a place is clean, has ample staff, decent food and good care that is what really matters, not expensive artwork, fancy furniture, etc.
Visit several times at different times of the day, enjoy a few meals (most places sell meal tickets in the business office), speak with other visitors and residents, speak with the staff and see if they are stressed and short or kind and busy, because that is how they will treat the residents. Don't take to much of their time, just asking how they are doing will usually give you an idea of what its like to be there as an employee. Speak with executive staff and see how they support residents issues, their staff, etc.
Most importantly, ask if mom can age out and have hospice without having to move. Not all facilities will allow a resident to stay once on hospice.
Mostly, trust your gut. If something feels wrong, it probably is. If you can't speak to anyone except the tour guide, RED FLAG. If you can't just come in for a meal, red flag.
Taking the time now will save you great hassle down the road. It is time consuming and can be frustrating but, it will help you after placement.
Be weary of reviews that are on a scale of 1 to? These are questionnaires that have questions created to give them 5 stars when in fact the facility sucks. Trust the reviews that actually have residents family telling of their experience.
Contact your local counsel on aging and they can help you get started on the Medicaid application, they probably have a list of facilities that accept Medicaid.
Best of luck, this is a stressful time, be sure and breathe and take care of you by getting good nutrition and rest.
Mom was in an AL running out of money. She had 20k left which would get her 4 months in an AL or 2 months in a NH. I chose to place her in a NH. I applied for Medicaid in April. Placed Mom May 1st and she paid privately for May and June. June I confirmed that the caseworker had all the information he had asked for and showed Mom was spent down. She actually was way under the 2k limit of my State. Medicaid started July 1st.
If Mom has any insurance policies with cash in value, the cash in can be used to prepay Moms funeral. Medicaid allows a certain amount so what the cash in doesn't cover you can take out of her money. The caseworker will give you a list of things you need to provide. One is 5 years of bank statements. I was lucky, Mom kept all hers. In my State you only have 90days to spend down the money, get them the info needed and place the person. Its so much easier to get a person placed if you can private pay for a while and then transition to Medicaid.
What I would do first is speak to a Medicaid caseworker to see what the criteria in your state is for Medicaid. Go in knowing exactly where Mom is financially. IMO, even with a Lawyer, you are going to be doing most of the footwork anyway. When I applied, the caseworker ask questions and did the application on his computer. Be aware, that Moms SS and any pension will be used to help offset her care.
When looking for a place, make sure they take Medicaid. I would not depend on the NH to do the application for you. You need to be involved with the process and in touch with the caseworker. We have had people on this forum allow the NH to apply and they have submitted wrong information or not submitted in a timely manner. One person, after 6 months, still hadn't received Medicaid for their parent. As I said, I only had 90 days to submit info needed or the application starts all over.
Does your mother have any assets in her name? They will likely need to be less than 2,000 dollars. Even if she has more you can still start the process. If she has some money that could be used towards legal fees. A lawyer should ideally help you find eligible places.
I am sure you will get more solid advice from here. Many know so much more than I do but I believe from all I have learned here I am steering you in the right direction.
1). FIVE STAR RATINGS MEAN NOTHING !!!!!!
2) Citations are public info and the NH should have them in their lobby/facility for viewing.
3). Still, these items just offer a glimpse.
4) You have the right to request a Care Plan meeting at any time. You have the right to review a Care Plan at any time.
5) Speak up and don’t fear retaliation
6) Empower and Advocate
7) If something doesn’t feel right to you, it isn’t.
8) You have the right to review medical records at any time
9) If someone tells you how wonderful a nursing is/was to their family member, research on your own. Do you think someone will say, the nursing home my mom is/was in is just terrible?
10) If you don’t advocate and speak up, things will slip by.
I found that the questions were about the individual caregivers and not the facility as a whole, which sucked but, there were good caregivers doing the best they could. Such a shady practice.
Look for a non-profit care facility. Your best bet would be a faith-based one. Catholic establishments (hospitals, nursing homes, clinics, etc...) are usually non-profit. A person can get decent care even when they're broke and on Medicaid.
In your situation the first step I think is to call a state social worker or visit your local Agency on Aging and request help. Maybe they can help you find a facility. If that fails, the most reliable option to get placement is through the local hospital. (You have to convince the SW and CM there that you can not safely care for mom at home anymore). The case managers at the hospital have contacts and relationships in the community and are able to find open beds in local nursing homes. This is how I was able to place my LO. The tricky part is getting to the hospital in the first place. In your case it may not be so easy as you state your mom is relatively healthy. You may have to be diligent and plead with a state social worker to help find a facility for you.
These last few years have been overwhelming. She has dementia & now sundowners.
Its best to get her into an assisted living facility. I was not sure who to reach out to.I got information to reach out to local Aging Adults agency. They are able to provide information. Also good idea to call Medicare( if that is what she has ) to get specific information on what services they provide. In my situation, I was told it’s best to start the process in December & by first of 2022, she can be placed. Only funds she gets is her SS. The place we find is based off on what that pays for. At the stage she’s in, as long as there are meals & occasional activities, she will be fine.
Also she won’t be a prisoner, so if other family members want can go check her out & take her places.
I am her only child. ( my older brother died suddenly in 2017) But there are several family members that live in our city. Oddly, no one has made any effort to visit her or take her while she’s been living at my home.
( so not holding my breath for any of them to go while she’s in the assisted living facility)
I know my mom needs 24/7 care & it’s best that I regain the role as her daughter, as now I’m definitely her caregiver & she sees me as her maid.
Her social worker and mine both have reassured me, it’s best to get my mom placed sooner than later.
Sadly, her dementia is going to get worse -progress.
Good luck 🍀
MC monthly cost = (monthly income) - savings drawdown
With a year or more of private care, she will be eligible for more facilities.
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