I help to care for a 71 year old man (my ex husband and father of our 18 year old). Between the aging process and his lengthy history of abusing alcohol, his mental faculties are declining at a rapid rate. Not sure what agency to contact as he is resistant to any outside help. His bills are piling up and his house is extremely unkempt including the regular maintenance issues that have not been addressed for years. Now the neighbors are calling code enforcement for a water leak he never tended to. I’m at a loss here and it’s like watching a slow train wreck. My son and I have tried multiple times to clean and assist with household issues but the person I’m referring to is resistant accepting the truth of the whole situation. Any advice is helpful. Thank you in advance.
One of the main thing I have learned by going to the meetings is I have NO power to change him or what he believes. What he does or what he doesn’t do . In 5 years of being Caretaker I have watches a vital, well educated man who taught school for close to 40 years, who ran a landscape business, coached wrestling, refereed wrestling and loved to play golf, change. I can hardly comprehend the changes. He can no longer use the TV remote , phone, sign a check, drive, complete a sentence, comprehend what he is watching on TV or get to the bathroom on time . He hasn’t played golf for 4 years.. He eats, watches TV and sleeps. If it wasn’t for my caretakers meetings and talking to a therapist I am not sure I would still be relatively sane . It breaks my heart .. He has lost who he was and I have lost him . BUT, I will do the best I can with what I have to work with to keep him safe and comfortable. My prayers are with you …
You can contact the Area Agency on Aging and tell them that he needs case management and a "needs assessment".
At some point, if he is deemed incompetent, the state will step in and take guardianship him.