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It’s annoying to ask hospice nurse everything. I have to go through call center answered all sorts of questions etc....it’s like repeated episode. Of course the hospice nurse can tell when he’s declining but I want to hear from those who experienced it.
It’s different for everyone. There is a booklet by a hospice nurse called “gone before my sight” and it gives a 3 month time line. It’s just a general timeline of signs/symptoms you might observe 3 months before, 2 weeks before, days and hours before. and I can tell you, my MIL is at the end of her journey and the signs have been all over the place, she is not following the 3 month timeline but she has had many of the signs.
Nikki, Google Cheyne-Stokes breathing for the medical facts. Death would be happening within hours.... "A pattern of interrupted breathing called “Cheyne-Stokes breathing” may occur and for some there may be noisy breathing sometimes called “the death rattle”. Cheyne-Stokes breathing is a pattern of breathing often present in dying. The person takes several breaths followed by a pause in breathing of several seconds."
So sorry if this is what you are seeing in your loved one.
Please ask yourself, "Are some things better if we don't know?". I just don't want you to go through this alone, so do ask your hospice nurses and doctors when they are there. Dispensing "end of life questions" by phone is to be avoided, imo.
You did right by coming here also to ask. There are some very special people who can walk you through this with compassion.
Nikki, Everyone that has posted is correct. Each situation IS different.
Please, if you see change, any change in your Dad, ask for a Hospice Nurse to come evaluate your Dad. Then sit down in private, away from your Dad, and have a conversation with the Nurse. You can ask them what they are seeing and what to expect next to the best of their ability.
Hospice is not only there for your Dad. They are there for you too. They should answer ANY questions you have and try to make you feel as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.
Heres my experience. They stop eating. They cannot swallow. They no longer can drink. The body starts shutting down. My Mom closed her eyes and never opened them again. She didn't want to get out of bed. She could hear but that sense is the last to go. She lived a week longer.
Joann29 thank you for sharing your experience, I was wondering how long one might live after they stop eating and lose the ability to swallow. I’m trying to figure out much time my MIL might have left. Her nurse comes once a week.
Nikki, wanted to add to my initial reply and say that in my MILs case her digestive system started shutting down 3-4 weeks ago. She’s got some mottling, still drinks a little and takes in a few bites of food. It’s hard to say how much longer she has but the first signs of decline that we observed were no appetite and decreased urine and bowel movements. Blood pressure dropping is another sign but I don’t know if my MILs is dropping yet.
Well not of that happening yet. He always have low appetite. It’s jusr that he started having sundowning. Just today he said he’s having little blurry vision. Little bit of this and that. I know everyone’s gonna tell me to call hospice and have him evaluate but he ain’t getting there yet. He always said he don’t feels like eating but when I make him something he eats it all. Why can’t we just get well or get going? Why that lingering stages with pain and memory loss and sundowning, etc etc...?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
kokuamau.org/the-last-stages-of-life/
Also found another for another posting: https://www.agingcare.com/questions/end-of-the-road-434005.htm
So sorry you are going through this.
Google Cheyne-Stokes breathing for the medical facts. Death would be happening within hours....
"A pattern of interrupted breathing called “Cheyne-Stokes breathing” may occur and for some there may be noisy breathing sometimes called “the death rattle”. Cheyne-Stokes breathing is a pattern of breathing often present in dying. The person takes several breaths followed by a pause in breathing of several seconds."
So sorry if this is what you are seeing in your loved one.
Please ask yourself, "Are some things better if we don't know?".
I just don't want you to go through this alone, so do ask your hospice nurses and doctors when they are there. Dispensing "end of life questions" by phone is to be avoided, imo.
You did right by coming here also to ask. There are some very special people who can walk you through this with compassion.
Everyone that has posted is correct. Each situation IS different.
Please, if you see change, any change in your Dad, ask for a Hospice Nurse to come evaluate your Dad. Then sit down in private, away from your Dad, and have a conversation with the Nurse. You can ask them what they are seeing and what to expect next to the best of their ability.
Hospice is not only there for your Dad. They are there for you too. They should answer ANY questions you have and try to make you feel as comfortable as possible under the circumstances.
Nikki, wanted to add to my initial reply and say that in my MILs case her digestive system started shutting down 3-4 weeks ago. She’s got some mottling, still drinks a little and takes in a few bites of food. It’s hard to say how much longer she has but the first signs of decline that we observed were no appetite and decreased urine and bowel movements. Blood pressure dropping is another sign but I don’t know if my MILs is dropping yet.