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I have FULL power of Attorney for my mother who lives in a nursing home in Estero, Florida. I was contacted last week by her head nurse about the flu shot. I was asked if they could give it to her along with another vax and I said NO you are not to give any flu shots or any vax to my mother! I went to see her and she told me that they gave her the flu shot on the 19th (September)! After I gave instruction not to! Also, These nurses administer medications I specifically tell them not to! They’re given without my consent. My mother had a stroke 7 years ago she is paralyzed on her left side and is unable to take herself potty and unable to stand alone. She is often neglected and left to sit in fecies sometimes up to 2 hours. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what rights we have.. someone please help me. Thank you so much!

Contact the ombudsman to speak with you if administration is unwilling or unable.
I do not know the rules of this nursing home.
It could be that there is a requirement for flu shots at this institution as there was when I was a nurse, at my hospital. Many places caring for the elderly have rules about vaccination against diseases that can easily be deadly to residents.
I am curious if you ASKED if they are required shots?

It is extremely difficult to deal with any institutionalized care, but even worse when you are attempting to do it long distance.

Q 2 hour checks are, sad to say, considered a norm in some places.
Can you tell me if your Mom is capable of putting on her light. Do know that her anecdotal reports to you may not ALWAYS reflect reality, but I must tell you also that the care overall isn't perfect in any institution.

I understand your desperation and frustration, and I am so sorry for it.
I wish you the best. The answer as to what you can do is only the best that you can, and you are DOING that. Again, I am sorry and I wish you the best.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Your mother, with her health issues, is surely in danger of getting pneumonia and possibly dying from it. Flu and RSV often lead to pneumonia and hospitalization. If she catches either virus and spreads it to other patients, that puts them in danger as well. The nursing home is surely trying to protect ALL of their patient population from these serious diseases.

If you don't like it, move her. Stand up for your rights. But be fully aware of what your mother is facing if you do.
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Reply to Fawnby
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call the facilities ombudsman or even star ombudsman to help you they will investigate or you can even go yourself for the state department to investigate that facility too
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Reply to Trixipie
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Rhonda, welcome to the forum. Curious as to why you wouldn't want your Mom to have the flu shot? Since your Mom is a stroke survivor she would have a higher risk of developing serious complications if she caught the flu, which could lead to another stroke, something to think about.


My very elderly parents (lived into their late 90's) had the flu shot every year for the past 50 years. And they were out and about, doing volunteer work at a large regional hospital up into their late 80's. Now, there's one place where someone could catch the flu, but they never did.


There are so many different vaccines that seniors should have. My hubby and I have had the current COVID vaccine... the current flu vaccine... years ago had the shingle vaccine... the pneumonia booster.... the whooping cough vaccine... even the HEP-B vaccine. Now I do understand if someone is allergic to ingredients used in certain vaccines not to get it.
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Reply to freqflyer
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My Mom never had a flu shot. But once she was in the NH, I OKd the flu and pnemonia shot. To protect her and the other residents. I don't know why they bothered to ask if they ended up giving her the shots. I would talk to the Director of Nursing. You really can't tell the Nurses not to give certain medications. Medications are ordered by the facility doctor and the Nurses follow those orders. Again talk to the DON.

When you placed Mom in a NH, you lost some of your control. You now have several aids caring for her. Each one does their job a little differently. Her hair won't be just so, he clothes may not match. Me, so Moms clothes matched I hung them as sets in her closet. But that does not mean her socks would match or her shoes.

I am so lucky that I have an RN in the family who has worked almost 25 yrs in NHs. She told me what an aides responsibilities are in the morning and how many residents they have to get up and dressed in time for breakfast. If I had a complaint, I would ask her if I should complain. Its not always the squeaky wheel gets oiled first. You do not want to get the reputation of being a pain. You want those aides to like you. So better you ask why nicely than to demand why. I wanted everything perfect for Mom but you have to just let things go. They never could comb her hair right. So I carried a little bottle if hairspray and a brush and fixed her hair when I visited. Yep, OCD.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Why on earth would you not want her vaccinated?!

Me, I couldn’t stand seeing my parents suffer and die from an illness that one shot would have prevented.
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Reply to LoopyLoo
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