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I just spent 2months looking after Mum in the Uk, since my return she has told my sisters and family I have stolen from her, it is so painful. , my sisters arent speaking to me
Have you and your sisters done any learning about dementia? What your mother is doing is extremely common. Persons with dementia feel all kinds of losses in their lives, and they become paranoid about having things taken from them. Sometimes they hide things so that no one will steal them, forget that they hid them, and then are more sure than ever that someone is stealing. If Mum is missing things or even imagines that she misses things, who better to blame it on than the one who was with her and now is gone?
This scenario is extremely common. You mother isn't being untruthful or mean -- the dementia is in control.
The real tragedy here is that your sisters apparently believe Mum's delusions. What has your relationship with these sisters been like in the past? Are they in denial about the dementia or just ignorant of what that might mean?
Oh, how sad is that! Sad, for your mom, that she has this terrible disease; sad for you that you've done so much and not lauded, sad that your family doesn't get it. Could you send them a link to this website, with its wealth of information about dementia? Or the Alzheimers Society website? The story you tell is heartbreaking common, only more so when the accusations are permitted to harm good- willed family members and caregivers.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Have you and your sisters done any learning about dementia? What your mother is doing is extremely common. Persons with dementia feel all kinds of losses in their lives, and they become paranoid about having things taken from them. Sometimes they hide things so that no one will steal them, forget that they hid them, and then are more sure than ever that someone is stealing. If Mum is missing things or even imagines that she misses things, who better to blame it on than the one who was with her and now is gone?
This scenario is extremely common. You mother isn't being untruthful or mean -- the dementia is in control.
The real tragedy here is that your sisters apparently believe Mum's delusions. What has your relationship with these sisters been like in the past? Are they in denial about the dementia or just ignorant of what that might mean?
Hugs to you. This has got to be heartbreaking.