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Dad is continually getting scammed or talked into things. He’s not online, so it all happens on phone or without his knowledge. He is pretty forgetful these days but needs to have CC and checking account access, and certainly a phone. I’ve changed the phone #, the email, (which I monitor & which he does NOT use, no computer use at all), registered for do not call & do not mail, changed the bank account, and the CC account multiple times….


What can I do to prevent this? I monitor it, and mostly it gets corrected – Wells Fargo has been great- but not always able to save the $$. Do you have any suggestions? Everytime I get one thing resolved, there’s another.

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Activating Nomorobo on our Comcast home phone line has pretty dramatically cut down on garbage calls. Hope other folks have some ideas.
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Sorry, my answer is take the phone away. If its a cell, lose it. If landline disconnect. If Dad has ALZ/Dementia he should not have access to a phone. Hopefully you have POA. My SIL had to do this with her 77 year old mother. She was actually calling sales people who called her before. She already went thru 50k of her husbands insurance money. TG my SIL has POA now and control over the proceeds of the sale of Mom's house. house. Once these people get money they will keep calling.

The Do not Call list is a joke. They allow surveys, political call, charities and businesses you have done business with. Robo calls don't fall under this. They r actually illegal.

When it comes to junk mail...if a prepaid envelope is included send all the enclosures back with parents name and address circled. Write a note "Take me off ur Mailing list". If no envelope go online and email them with the same info. Do not subcribe to any magazines. They sell your address. Same with book clubs and CD/DVD clubs. I cut down on a lot of Moms junk mail this way.

When Dementia takes over our lives the roles change. We become the adults our parents the children. They no longer can reason or process. It is no longer what they want but what they need.
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Tina2010 Nov 2018
How do you "physically" take the cell phone phone/ land line away? That would create WW III . Husband has POA (both). His parents both have dementia. Father-in-law keeps talking to realtors, sales individuals. How can you do this logistically?
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Yes I have Robokiller and it’s great. Sometimes too great. Or, could yiu get him a phone with call forwarding and then have the calls forwarded to you?
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Nomorobo worked for me on my land line but not on my cell phone. Same with forwarding the calls. If you can get him to just a land line with the ability to forward the calls then you can be the one dealing with these crooks. And if it’s someone he would enjoy talking with (friends and other loved ones) you can have him call them right back. Be careful the calls are being forwarded and not just ringing both your phone and his at the same time.

If you are letting him use a cell, you might want to do away with it.
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anonymous594015 Sep 2018
Nomorobo is great as long as your father will let the phone ring one time without picking up. My husband's father sits right next to the phone and did not understand that he had to ignore the first ring for Nomorobo to work.
(If the call is identified as a robocall, it will be forwarded after the first ring.)
It did work for my mother, although the phone ringing only once confused and annoyed her.
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I’m confused...your profile says one parent lives with you and one lives out of state. Which one is your dad? If he lives with you then who's phone is ringing?
I also suggest no cell phone since these are difficult to stop robocalls from. But if he has one, you can also forward those calls as well. Personally I wouldn’t want to have to keep up with my calls and someone else’s but if you won’t cut his phone, then you’ll have to do something. Also..everyone should freeze their credit reports. They recently made that free for everyone now. Freeze at all 3 credit agencies not just one. I also would be sure he doesn’t have an ATM card.
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There are national “Do Not Call” and “Do Not Mail” lists which you can add your phone number and addresses to. It cannot block junk mail, but for the marketers and charities who are compliant, it can greatly reduce solicitations and sales marketing.

Look up the Do Not Call and Do Not Mail lists online.

Perhaps there is a way to keep only the minimum in a checking account, and a very low limit on the credit card. Then, transfer everything else to investment accounts which cannot be so easily used/liquidated.

Best of luck to you.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2018
The Do Not Call list doesn't work with robo and telemarketers. They are not calling you specifically they are running thru telephone nos. and hoping they get a patsy. I am on the list and I get robo calls everyday. I got a person selling solar, told him not to call again, next day the no. Popped up again.
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Have you put a freeze on his credit? It's free to do . Seniors are a popular target for identity thieves because they rarely check their credit reports and often have good credit.

You can do it online by contacting the credit reporting services individually (Transunion, Equifax and Experian). If he ever needed to apply for credit you can unfreeze the accounts.
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Hi LoveMyFolksLots,

1) Are you his POA? If not you should get that in motion.

2) Get rid of his cell phone. He probably doesn't even use it.

3) Depending on the landline provider (my M-I-L has Spectrum) you can set up an on-line account and "white list" phone numbers. That is what we did with her number. On the account page you put in the phone #s that will be accepted, such as friends and family. Any # not on that list will receive a message that says " the number you have called is not accepting calls". This has been a lifesaver for us.

4) You say he needs to have access to his bank account and credit cards. Are you listed on his bank accounts? If the account is in both your names maybe you could take over bill paying, etc.
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My cell phone has an option to not ring calls from numbers that are not in my contacts, it sends them straight to voice mail. If people leave a message, I can add them to contacts (so the phone rings next time they call) and call them back.

This might help for a time but if your father is the one with ALZ then this is only a delay - eventually you will need to take control of the phone and dad's money.
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JoAnn29 Sep 2018
This is how my cell works. I have it set for contacts only and all others go to voicemail. Hopefully he doesn't know how to get into VM. One of the first things Mom forgot how to use was her cordless phone.
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We just got one of these calls yesterday. Even tho we knew what it was it was still scary ... extremely threatening ! Imagine what happens to good-hearted people like your dad.

Stayed online to end and got return phone number.

Not that it will help but im going to call state attorney general with number.

It seems to me that phone company should be legislated to ban calls but then theyll probably go offshore if not already.
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I agree that the do not call registry does very little to block calls. How about getting an unlisted number?

A new low for us was when my Mom was in the hospital and these calls were coming to her room. We could not disconnect the phone because she was waiting on family and friends from out of state to call.
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Can you have all incoming calls forwarded to your number so that the phone can only be used by your dad for out going calls? Between the IRS scam, the jury duty extortion scam, the you’ve won ——- scams, and other scary stuff out there calls, it really makes it difficult to protect our elders from despicable predators. You can forward your dad’s mail to a P.O. box if you have power of attorney. Unfortunately, there are still the door to door things to contend with as well as the offers on TV and the ones that come in the mail and stuff that’s on the Internet. It is never ending and someone will eventually need to take over the bill paying and managing of your dad’s finances. As long as your dad still has a phone, credit card and access to bank accounts, he is a huge target. Having a POA is/ will be necessary, and you can only be named as such while your dad is mentally competent. Good luck to you.
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one think I have done it to have the phone answer message like this- Hi you reach the Jones home we are on the do not call list. business please hang up. all other start taking and we will answer the phone if we are near. there is a lot of hang ups now. I tell him if he hears someone call his name its ok to answer the phone.
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You can google "don't call list number"
Then put your Dad's numbers on the don't call list
By law, if the companies call when a person is on this list, they are breaking the law & can be charged
If you/he answers & says "I'm on the don't call list...pls don't call again"
They will slowly drop off
You can change the ph number, but don't put it in his name ..easy to do...
Each time you get a new # under his name its registered by the Credit bureaus...and the vultures have it in no time
Anonymous #...they can'f find him
I did all this for my Grandpa
My Gramps told me "he liked talking to 'those people' cause it eased the loneliness"
Now I hooked him up at a really big senior center near him that has lots of activities & he goes there often & plays pool, has lunch, & talks to people
He doesn't get down as often
And rarely complains of being lonely. And....he has a girlfriend 24 years younger than him. And he's def not rich! :) Go Gramps
Your Dad is lucky to have such a sweet soul as a daughter
Good luck
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In the UK we have something called Truecall. Not sure if it's available in USA but you can programme in the favourite numbers that your dad uses, block certain numbers calling, and restrict numbers he wants to ring. It's been a lifesaver! 
Has stopped my mum from calling the police or operator when she can't remember a number. And stops scam callers getting through.
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Is your dad hard of hearing? Maybe turn the ringer down? Or get jitterbug phone and disconnect the landline. They have cheap plans and nice big phones with extra big buttons. The operators will even program in all the numbers your dad calls. They are always pleasant on the phone. I dont work for them, I got my mom a phone a while back.
The do not call is a joke. Im on both state and national. Doesnt stop them from calling. Nor does it stop scammers. I am also on the list for less junk mail. Yeah sure. Another joke.

Id give him a fake credit card. Why does he need one? If your doing the bills he doesnt. Or get him a preloaded walmart visa/master card. Scammers can only get what is loaded on the card.

The scammers will tell your dad what he wants to hear in order to get the info. The scammers sit in a cafe and take turns contacting the same person over and over if they get some action on a scam. Lets say guy A got a bit of $. Then you found out, and changed credit cards. So scammer B in the same cafe, uses a different phone number working a different scam. You blocked the old number, but not the new scammers number. That scam might work. If that dorsnt work, lets try scammer C with a fake female voice. She is lonely and wants to talk. Your loved one is back on the hook.

My dad fell for the Walmart lottery. This was from Jamaica. He wouldnt listen to multiple family members and friends. They had him convinced he won and were jealous. A call to walmart finally stopped it. The scammers are that good. The family is lying or doesnt want you to get the lottery.

My mom needed to have a landline, so she would turn the ringer down. Dad with beginning dementia, couldnt hear it. The jamacan would call all different hours every day. Hoping he could reach my dad.

One more thing you can do. Go to white pages online. A huge list of websites will show up with your dads info. There are opt out areas to hide his name, or remove it. You have to really dig and find all the websites. Might take 3 screens to get his name removed from 1 site. If hes listed in the white pages, scammers are finding the number that way. You have to say you are him to get the name removed or hidden.
Work on 3 web sites every day. That way its not such a pain in the butt to do. Within a week, youll have his name hidden.

There are tons of websites that show ALL your contact info. I think it should all be private, but its not. I even got my house blurred on google. I dont want my info out there. I should have control of it, not other people. Some sites take awhile to get the name removed, but its worth it. That will help get you off the scammers radar. Good luck.
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The National Do Not Call registry does not work and out of their mouths they told me "we can't keep up with it." Wells Fargo has a team of staffers that do nothing but fraud claims. They should be able to cover ALL scams.
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My father was the same way, mostly from people scamming him over the phone And charities, many many charities taking his money. Can you set the phone to silent mode so he won't hear it ring? Explain the situation to wells fargo, maybe they can come up with a solution to the checking account. You need to stop him from writing checks.
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Block all call except those on his contact list.
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He can have access to the phone or his bank accounts, but not both. Is he genuinely vulnerable? I know many elderly people are vulnerable due to normal aging, but is there something about your dad that makes you think he’s particularly at risk? If not, if you’re just trying to protect from “what if,” consider giving him access to a new bank account with a small balance and a debit card so he can have pocket money.
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Jasmina Sep 2018
You dont even need a bank account. Just a walmart credit card. You preload whatever money amount you want on it.
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I get letter scams.They warn me that the coverage on my vehicle will be dropped.

I do believe people are targeting caregivers who don't have all the information in one place.

 My car has been too old to qualify for the suggested "protection" for a very long while. Of course, it is insured. All deducted online every month. My car is not too old to drive nor insure! I have insurance!

 A POA opening my mail might think I had a contract.
 The bogus letter implies it is so. But no ref to the vehicle.
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Call the phone service provider and have the phone set to outgoing calls only. So he can call out but no one can call in. We keep a list of his favorite people to call on the wall.
Why does he need credit card and checking account access? If he's becoming forgetful that may not be a great plan. At first we switched pop to an ATM use only card to avoid debit card fraud, we didn't allow overdrafts, and only left a couple hundred dollars in that account. He can't remember how to use the ATM now, so when his card expired we left it in his wallet but didn't order a new one. He likes cash in his wallet so I make sure he has $100 a week which he pretty much just gives away.
Good luck on finding creative solutions.
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Jasmina Sep 2018
Great idea!. I didnt know the phone company would do that.
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you might look into getting a Power of Attorney and/or get Guardianship so that you can control expenditures. change checking/savings accounts so that minimal amounts of money are kept in them; make sure regular bills are paid automatically
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I downloaded an app called “Robokiller”. It’s very enthusiastic about blocking spam calls. My phone doesn’t even ring. I think it’s about $3.00 a month. Well worth it!
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