I grew up in an ultra reserved, conservative household. Sex was never discussed. EVER. Yesterday mom saw him stripped down to a tshirt masturbating on his bed. This morning he came into the kitchen, took off his pajama pants and started telling me how shriveled up his penis was. I was completely caught off guard when he pulled down his pull ups. All I could think in that moment to do was redirect him to the bathroom and said the kitchen isn't the place to talk about that. Now that I've calmed down how do my mother and I approach him and what do we say if he starts exposing himself more? This is completely new behaviour.
Definitely certain drugs used for Parkinson’s treatment, mirapex (pramipexole) for instance, can have an unfortunate side effect of hypersexuality. The neurologist tried to take my father off this drug but turns out he needs the positive effects so we have to live with the negative effects too.
In general we do what others have suggested and redirect him when he does these behaviors. You can also tell him, like you said already, that what he is doing is a private behavior and should only be done in his own room. I have asked my father to please stop his behavior and dropped a towel across his lap. He has expressed to me before, with regret, that he thinks about sex all the time and his women caretakers all the time. I tell him I’m sorry and tell him it is happening because that is one side effect of his disease and the drugs he takes. If you would have told me several years ago I would be dealing with this, and talking about this, with my father I would have been totally shocked and disgusted. Now I am not. I understand it truly is his disease process and I remind myself this is not really my father, It is my father tortured by a horrible disease he has no control over. It is him that would be the one shocked and disgusted if he were truly able to consider, in his former fully rational mind, what he is doing. Please try to not judge and don’t let others judge either. Gently and compassionately but firmly defend him if you are required to deal with this in the presence of others who don’t understand. So much has been taken away from your dad in terms of physical abilities, executive function, and dignity. Try not to withdraw your compassionate feelings and love toward him when this occurs. Just redirect and move on. Perhaps this phase is one we will pass through and leave behind someday. I hope so. Till then I do my best not to humiliate him or be humiliated myself.
One last thing I will add to the discussion. I am beginning to observe that when he begins to get extremely obsessive about penis touching, rubbing, and exposure, it has preceded or coincided with a UTI. When the UTI has been treated it is not quite as obsessive a behavior. Might check for UTI with your dad since this started so quickly.
Best of luck to you. Parkinson’s is a long sad road isn’t it.
This behavior sounds more like how a toddler or small boy would act when they’re in that phase of ‘discovery’! And given his decline, he will likely move to another phase and stop this behavior,
Good luck with this--I know it was a problem with FIL until his death--he has some seriously deep rooted problems and they were never addressed.
We did NOT have dementia or Alz. He just had a sexual problem that went un-fixed.
Best of luck
I somewhat remember a post on here from an elderly husband whose wife had dementia. It seemed family had gathered at their home to celebrate her birthday (their adult kids & grandkids, etc)... when it was time for her to blow out her birthday candles, she comes out from the bedroom in her birthday suit, completely naked!
The nice thing about the story was how gentle her husband treated her, by simply turning her around, walking her back to the bedroom, and telling her she needed to have her clothes on for family events like this.
All the best.
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