Wealthy mom, 87, has had 3 close calls with marrying pauper social companion. She always agrees it would have been a big mistake. Her short tern memory is bad, her judgement is very impaired. She agreed to sign any papers that allowed us to make all the decisions in her life, as she occasionally realizes the troubles she invites. ( financial scams, etc)
Is there a step short of declaring her mentally incompetent? That would be heartbreaking for her. Thanks
What you can do about the companion is get a PPO against him, if there are more solid grounds than mistakenly accepting a marriage proposal. Or if she really wants to marry him, have a matrimonial attorney draft a tight pre-nuptial agreement leaving him nothing. And make sure he knows about that.
Financial scams are another issue and are more problematic, but if you were granted authority under a DPOA, you could handle her finances for her, close her credit card(s) and take away the means by which to be scammed.
Check your DPOA. If drafted by a competent attorney, it may well have broad powers that cover the other issues you mentioned. You shouldn't have to get two POAs for financial affairs. And again, the issue of mental capacity will enter the picture.
And for heaven's sake DON'T let the guy move in! You wrote that he's a social pauper - that should be reason enough not to let him move in. Do you have any idea of the information he could steal and what he could do with it if he was allowed to move in?
And how do you plan to get him out?
To allow this to happen would to me be unspeakably cruel to your mother.
Given what she thinks of him, I would think that spending several hours with him would be enough.
If she's lonely, find some activities for her so she doesn't need to look to this guy for socialization.
While gone, have the locks changed on her home.
Tell her, that if she continues these risky behaviors, you will detach 100%, with love.
BTW, when you were a teen, how did she deal with any "poor decision making", or risky behaviors?" I am not saying there had to be any. Tell her you are not willing to become her parent or her keeper. Hire a bodyguard that she likes more than the flake you are worried about.
Sounds like she is her own worst enemy.
If she is wealthy, hire a whole team of services she needs.
What, exactly, is a social pauper?
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