My mother is what used to be called a hen pecker, she torments my brother who lives with her. We do have help coming in, but I wonder if he ever gets a full nights sleep. She is insanely constantly demanding. Now it seems she has broken her toe from kicking the door when he left the room to avoid boiling over.
She has an amazing amount of energy when agitated and has always been unmanageable at times, but now the dementia has removed whatever self checks she used to have. Unless one works to make her feel like a pampered queen, she becomes hostile. Her fear prevents her from being reasonable, but it is not always possible to feed her misperception of reality. She will not go to daycare. I am afraid NH would kick her out. She has advanced dementia, but is still in denial.
And what happened to Mother, who for years had been so needy and helpless? She lasted about one month at home, then broke some ribs in a fall and went from the hospital to the nursing home. I thought "Well, she will be very hard to take care of."
Fast forward 10 months, Mother is almost 94 and clean, dressed, eating in the dining room, having visitors, getting her hair done, and speaking on the phone. Who
knew?
Yes, your brother needs to get out, both for his health and your mother's. Good luck and best wishes.
That's all I have to offer except sympathy for brother.