2 stints to dry out & come home, now we are starting a 3rd we are at a loss and need help. We found her last night covered in her own excrement and urine. Just wanting a bottle of wine. She refused to get up and get a bath. We called EMS to come and get her, almost had to go to the magistrates office to involuntary commit but she finally decided to come on her own. She had been in this chair so long that she had no skin on her back and butt. At the hospital they said her urethra was totally clogged. In the hour and half she was there she had already urinated 2 full foley bags and working on a third. She is talking competently, still wants her wine.
They said she would probably get dried out and some rehab and go home. This is the 3rd time for this. She is not capable of making decisions as far as staying home/sober. She still drives and will go to the store and get it. She goes so far as to go to the store buy lots of groceries and wine and leave all the groceries in the car to go bad. She is not eating and refuses to eat. We do not have power of attorney health or otherwise. We are not sure what to do or where to turn. We live in NC. Any suggestions?? How do we get guardianship or whatever we need to make decisions?
Turning over her guardianship to professionals is the only way. You cannot let her ruin your life.
gizmo , i fail to see the difference between your elder comfort medicating herself to death or hospice doing it for her . 75 yrs is older than many people want to live depending on their physical and mental health and QOL ..
id rather die at 75 on my terms than at 95 as a miserable shell lying in a NH ..
How old is she?
Because you said she has no skin on her legs or bottom due to sitting in the same place all day everyday I'm wondering if anyone checks on her on a regular basis?
You said she was competent but you also said she isn't capable of making decisions for herself.
Is there someone who has POA or an Advanced Directive for her?
I don't know if you can get guardianship. Can you tell us a little more about her? What's your relationship to her? Does she have any physical illnesses? What would you like to see happen? Her moving in with you? A nursing home?
There is always the Adult Council On Aging too.
See what the primary care physician has to add?
How are you related? Does she have a Power of Attorney or Living Will written up? Contact Adult Services in your community to learn more of what is available to help you in order to help her.
Good luck.
You could try to have her declared incompetent due to her past history. Then she would be made a ward of the state if you do not wish to take on the full responsibility of a self destructive alcoholic. I personally think its a lost cause having been through it myself with relatives.
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