I've had to have the plumber out on several different occasions to fix the toilet & sink. He pulled out paper towels and found food lodged in the bathroom sink. I suspected that she was doing this because I could hear her rinsing something out when I was in the adjourning bathroom.
The only problem is that when I confronted her, she completely denied it. I have told her NUMEROUS times and also had the plumber tell her to only use the bathroom sink for washing hands and brushing teeth. She always agrees to follow my direction, but then we find the sink stopper out of the sink & food particles in the sink when the next caregiver takes her shift.
Any suggestions on how to handle this in the best way possible? This caregiver has been helping me for almost 3 years now. She's from a foreign country, but has been here for 20 years. I can't imagine she doesn't understand what I'm saying. I'm getting suspicious she's may be upset I've hired 2 other caregiver's to alternate the full time schedule. It was too much for 1 person & works best for my mother to have someone here no more than 5 days straight each. My mother has been on hospice for almost a year now. It's a very difficult stressful situation without the worry of another sink back up & more money being spent that isn't needed. I’ve already had to spend close to $1,000 to get the bathroom working properly.
I would say this CG is being lazy. And, she shouldn't be putting food down the kitchen sink either unless you have a garbage disposal. I have a mini trash can I bought at the $1 store. I line it with a cheap ziplock bag. All food goes in there. Not in my kitchen trash can in the mini one.
I would think someone from Russia knows English well. English is part of most Europian school curriculum. Maybe she is getting too comfortable. You may need to tell her that Mom can't afford constantly calling in a plumber. She needs to follow the rules or you may need to let her go and that would be a shame after 3 yrs.
She had suddenly forgotten to look under the sink for more toilet paper, so I had to keep some in sight. I know this isn't your issue, but I can sympathize. What a mess!
I was her full time caregiver myself from January 2011 til October 2017. I finally got part time help until last June 2018 when my mom took a turn for the worst & was put on hospice. It’s my goal to let her die in her home & not a nursing facility. We have enough funding to keep her here for another 1-2 years.
I did have the internal pipes replaced with bigger ones, which is why I’ve spent close to $1,000. Plumber said absolutely no paper towels down the toilet. Toilet paper is the only paper designed to break down. He also said absolutely no food down the bathroom sink.
I just don’t know exactly what she’s doing when I’m not around. So far in the last 2 months there’s been no sink back up, but I’d like to prevent another one.
I can’t put a camera in the bathroom so I can see what she’s doing. I’d like to have evidence before I confront her again so she can’t deny it.
I’ve thought about doing several surprise inspections 1-2 times a day to see if she’s removed the sink stopper, so I can confront her in the ‘act’.
Yes, I will also post signs (in English because I don’t know anyone who speaks Russian!) stating my directions for using the sink & toilet.
I thought of telling her if there’s another backup & food is discovered blocked in the sink again, I’ll either have to deduct the bill from her check or cut her hours. But without actual proof I don’t know how to legally charge her for the bill? Any suggestions on how to get proof?
The other 2 caregivers I hired are friends who have 20+ years experience in caregiving, both Americans. I’ve tried to be as fair as possible, so lady #1 works a 5 day shift; lady #2 works the weekend (she only wants 2-3 days per week); lady #3 works a 5 day shift. We alternate each week from there.
It pains me to take action against this Russian lady because she’s helped me the longest, part time up until a year or so ago. 😢
My mom does everything you are saying the caregiver does. Rarely does it lead to any clogging. Are your pipes unusually small? Paper towels should flush easily down any toilet. Unless they are jamming a pot roast down the sink drain whole, most food you feed to the elderly should similarly slide down that as well.
Also agree with NY. And isn’t someone seeing this happening? Whole thing seems so odd.
Post signs in her language.
Teach her the right way in her language.
Dicuss with her the change and need for less hours in her language.
If it's not your mother, then give her one more chance and be direct with her and tell her that you have posted signs in her primary language to remind her:
Over the sink: "This sink is for washing hands only. No exceptions."
Above the toilet: "Flush only toilet paper. No exceptions."
In the kitchen sink, do you have a garbage disposal? If so, teach her how to use it. Ask for her to demonstrate to you how to use the garbage disposal. If you don't, teach her how you want her to use the garbage, and ask for her to demonstrate to you how to dispose of paper towels and foodstuffs properly.
If all these measures fail, fire her and let her know that you cannot give her a reference.
Example, my bathroom sinks the stopper does not pull out, thus it would be very difficult to put any food or tissues down the drain. Draw back, you can't pull the stopper out to clean :P
I see from your profile that your Mom has dementia. Are you sure it isn't Mom doing this?
He also said that even in nicer restaurants, in nearby cities that they only have a drain in the floor for waste. Different than the US, that’s for sure.
Was thinking along the same lines as you. We posted it at the same time. Haha. Maybe is the mom also? It’s very strange.
You’d think she would be grateful for additional help. As you say too much responsibility for just one person.
I’d be tempted to put your request in writing and post near the sink. Reading it in black and white should nail the message down. Other than that, I have no idea.
This is is strange behavior. It’s too costly for it to continue. Have you mentioned to her how much you have had to spend to repair the damage?
This lady has been with you for almost three years; how long have the dodgy sink hygiene issues been going on?
Even if she *were* upset - have you reduced her hours, and hence her income, substantially? - it still seems a peculiar way for her to go about addressing her grievance.
If you've been happy with her work up to now and want to keep her, best sit her down with a nice cup of coffee and have a more general chat with her. See if you can get to the bottom of this. If there is absolutely nothing and she's still sticking to her story... well, you've got newcomers on the scene. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions. What about putting up a notice in the bathroom that says 'PAPER TOWELS IN THE BIN ONLY.' 'NO FOOD UTENSILS.'
Also - it couldn't be your mother doing it, could it? In that case you have a supervision problem rather than a sabotage problem. Is someone falling asleep on the job?