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Cork--

You should NOT quit your job to care for Gma. While that is morally kind--in the long run, you are going to be stressed out in a month and regretting it. (Sounds like you already are).

Contact your Area on Aging (not sure if that's the title). Start the process of getting her placed in a home that's a better situation for her.

The losses you will build up by not paying into SS, savings, etc., won't be easy to recoup when gma passes. And at 85? She could go 10 more years.

I doubt NH's are taking new clients--I could be wrong, but if you don't check, you won't KNOW.

Also--until such time as she can be moved, draw from family and friends, if necessary.

What level of care does she require? Could she be left alone with someone popping in to check on her while you are at work? Can you work from home for a while?

Here's hoping you haven't cut off all ties with former employer. Your DAUGHTER comes first.

Good Luck-- and do come back with more info for us.
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Yes. I had to quit to take care of my grandmother. She is 85 and cant take care of herself.
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lkdrymom May 2020
You didn't have to quit. You could have looked into other options for her. She may not have been happy with the other options but she is not in a place to make demands.
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Your child comes way, way, WAY before your grandmother. You need to get your job back asap. If there no one else to care for her its facility time for Grandma.
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shad250 May 2020
There are several programs that help those with kids. Heck a bill recently passed the US Agriculture to give food benefits to those with kids in my state.
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Hate to ask, why are u caring for Grandma? Where r her children?
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You shouldn’t quit your job to be a caregiver unless you’re being paid the same as your job was paying. Even then you likely won’t be contributing to social security, making your retirement less. It’s a bad position for your future. Your grandmother needs another plan for her care, one that either pays you or enables you to go back to work. You’re not responsible for this, your first responsibly is to your family, meaning your child and yourself
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Hi Cork, you never should quit your source of income unless that source of income will be made up for in other ways or you have the financial means. On top of that you have a child to support? It is Absolutely unfair to that child if he/she suffers in any way. So unless you are being compensated for caregiving as much or almost as much as your job you are doing a great disservice to you and your child.
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More info is needed. Did you quit to care for a parent? Give some more in depth info and you'll get plenty of advice.
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