My Mom is full time caregiver to my Dad. I live 3.5 hours away. Hospice comes once a day he is bedridden and his mind, agitation, frustration is increasing. Changes in condition as in decline coming all the time. What should I be doing to help my Mom. We visit every 3-4 weeks. We have her house cleaned every 2 weeks. Of course the visits are more meaningful I wanted to take something off her plate. She needs more time to herself just to run errands or go to the store. No we do not have the money to hire help for her to get a break. Hospice sent someone to give her a break and Dad had a fit, as in asking my Mom to throw her out. Mom said she would try again because has to do errands and prepare for taxes & she'd love to be able to go to church. Any thoughts, ideas to share?
Can he go out? Can he go with her?
As for the idea of giving your mom a pedicure if you can afford it, you can actually do the pedicure yourself, it's really not much different than doing your own hands and finger nails. If there are any services that you can save money on by doing them yourself, this would definitely be a big plus for your mom. This would also be a very good opportunity for you and your mom to come closer and form a better bond during this very trying time.
Excuses are demoralizing & painful.....Anyway...try skyping...
If she's a member of a faith community, see if they can send in some sitters for free, to help out your mom. Or check out volunteer resources. I used to do that as a volunteer in my local area. I'd go in for a couple of hours so an elderly woman could attend church.
The biggest thing is just to be a listener and support for your mom as a safe place to vent.