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She had to call again tonight to see what her further instructions were and she is to show up at court with ID and cell phone. She couldn't remember what time and do I want to call and listen? She said I'm not going.


We've been having a couple of hell days and now she is saying will I bring her cigarettes in jail. She doesn't smoke and she was making a joke.


It might be funny but she is acting like it's my responsibility for her lack of doing what the law requires. No, I don't think so.


They sent her that letter weeks ago and it gave instructions on what to do if she wasn't able to be there. But she put it aside and said oh this has happened before-they usually don't have you come down there. Well, now they are and I told her she should go. She can drive, she knows where the court house is. That sounds cold and like I'm being a bitch. But for what it's worth-she also blamed me for the govt decreasing her social security amount. wow. She jumped my shite when she realized that happened and even after she talked with a nice lady at ssi.


Counting down the days to moving time.


She is giving me a fit about getting what she wants and read that again. She is giving me a hard time for getting what she wants-to be back in her apartment.


on a different topic I cried my eyes out today at my therapist. Told her I didn't know if I could hold out for six weeks and she says-'you've come this far' and yes. Yes I have. And I'm ruined for it, too.

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Well, I guess SHE will find out what happens when a person is a no-show for jury duty, huh? :) Here's what Google says: if you don't show up for jury duty without the court's permission, you could find yourself in trouble with the court. The court may issue an “Order to Show Cause” which is a judicial order for you to explain your absence. In extreme cases, the court may issue a bench warrant for your arrest.

But, it depends on what STATE you are in, so you can Google it and find out.

Your therapist is right........there's a glorious end in sight now, so you CAN hold out for six short little weeks, which is nothing in the scheme of things. Get a calendar and use a big fat black magic marker to X out each day that brings you one day closer to her moving OUT!

Yay!
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She could get arrested but probably won't.

I encourage you to not worry about this and to continue to let your mom deal with it however she wants. If she gets arrested, that's her problem.
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I had jury duty a couple of weeks ago and the judge who swore us all in said only 18%(!) of people summoned actually appear. I feel quite sure they can't chase them all down.
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update: she called the court and told them she was 81 and crippled. And asked them how she could get out of this mess?
This is after she received a call from her exs niece in Canada and he has passed away. This also is the ex that coined me 'the boss' several years ago and they laughed and made fun of me in front of and behind my back.
I feel bad for his Newfie family and friends but mercifully he is out of pain and hopefully onto a better place. I don't know what his beliefs were.
I do know this. She is giving me the cold, icy treatment today. Hard to feel sorry for her about any of it. She will soon be taking out her sorrow on me.
But back to subject of jail. Whoever she talked to from the court gave her instructions on how to get off the list and she was talking clearly and coherently to them.
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2019
Darn, missed opportunity for a break!😎
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RB, let em take her and keep her.

Then you can change your number and be free of her abuse.

You can do this, I know 6 weeks seems like a life sentence, but you can do this.

Great big hug and strength to you. 🤗
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Yes. You say she can drive? Of course she should go. You are almost never chosen. If you are chosen they almost always let you off when the case settles last minute. And of course the best excuse is the --when interviewed say "I have IBS or Irritable Bowel Syndrome; I often have to leave emergently to go to the bathroom, especially if I feel myself confined and unable to go. If you can put up with my exiting frequently I would LOVE to serve". Trust me. This one works EVERY SINGLE TIME. I know, because for years I had IBS. You also don't have to serve it you are over a certain age. I think it might be 70. But that would require sending in the letter (and nothing else). Mom didn't act in her own best interests so now she will have to play it as it lays. I just can't WAIT for the update!
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worriedinCali Dec 2019
actually in California there is no age of exemption for jury duty but if you are over 79, you can be excused for medical reasons without a doctors note ;)
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On a side note, RBuser1, to help you focus on how to get through this six-week ordeal, have you imagined how it will be for you when she's gone?

I recommend asking yourself, "What the first thing I'll do when I'm free?" "Will I jump out of bed in the mornings or roll over?" "How often will I eat out?" "How will I rearrange my furniture to what I want?"

Rather than focus on the torment you're in now, focus on resetting your mind and emotions for your upcoming peace. *hug*
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Isthisrealyreal Dec 2019
Great idea! Create hope.
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If she can prove any health issues she could possibly be excused. That worked for me when I really did have a health issue. I also was dealing with my mother entering AL.

I lived in NY but not in the city and I was being summoned to the court in the city which was a long trip. Some years earlier I did serve in a much closer area and actually enjoyed it. Or you could tell her to move to another state!! That way it will take awhile for her to be found to serve there and harder for you to visit a jail.
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Rbuser1 Dec 2019
Hhaha I have to wait and see what she does in the morning. Each day is a surprise. I'll be waiting for her call. :)
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She should be interested in going. She'll get out of the house and have something to do. As an added bonus, some cases are interesting.
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Riverdale Dec 2019
They really are and there is some pay involved.
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So much drama...hang in there...wishing you peace in your heart!
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Rbuser1 Dec 2019
Thank you Geaton777.
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