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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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We need more information. I'm assuming you are asking about your father, whom you mention on your profile. Let's start with why was your father in a psych facility?
He was recovering at home from a fall and had in home nurse visits, home health aide, physical therapy to help him walk again all of which he gradually refused treatment from as well as food, liquids, and meds so his doctor recommended ER visit for Psych. Evaluation where he has been transferred to a psych facility for not being able to care for himself. He had a sudden cognitive decline which they think might be dementia related. He is still refusing meds at the Psych. Facility and they plan to do a court order to inject meds. If the meds work, they plan to transfer him to a Skilled Nursing Facility but I think it will be the same pattern all over again with him refusing treatment? He has gotten dehydrated at home before from not drinking enough fluids to the point of not urinating and would end up back at the ER for fluids/catheter. The psych. facility is saying the failure to thrive is medical related yet his medical doctors say it is psych. related so we are stuck in the middle? He is saying at the Psych. Facility that he wants to be left alone and die in peace yet there is nothing medically wrong except not being able to walk without some assistance which he refuses to learn to use a walker. We asked about hospice before with the in home nursing and they said he wouldn't qualify since they are there to get him back on his feet but I agree hospice would be helpful although the Psych. Facility is insisting on the Skilled Nursing Facility to try to get him to do everything he is supposed to (eating, drinking, meds, walking).
This happened with my MIL after surgery for an aortic aneurysm which advanced her dementia. She was determined to starve herself to death.
She was examined by a psychiatrist and determined to be competent to make her own medical decisions. The hospital threatened to take my BIL, her POA to court to get guardianship and he told them "my mother has a right to die if she wants to".
Hospice was brought in (or maybe it was palliative care, I don't really recall), she went into a NH with good comfort care and passed away after many weeks.
If you are POA, you need someone to tell you if your dad has the capacity to make this decision.
I am so sorry to hear about your MIL. Thank you so much for the helpful information and will be sure to read that book. I wish I had POA but he refused to talk to an attorney when we tried before his condition got worse and he doesn't have a written advanced directive although he previously verbally expressed before all this happened that he would want to be saved, if there is anything else I can try please let me know
Is there any family that agrees with his decision now to wish to pass peacefully? If so, can they take him home if hospice care is found? Truth is that Hospice often cannot be used in this case, as even IF there are right to die laws in your state, the truth is that no doctor can sign for his having 6 months or less to live, as suicide is not in, in our own country, a legitimate reason to die, an accepted diagnosis. I am hoping this changes. We are an aging population and I have long been a member of advocacy groups for our right to die. As there are no advanced directives and doctors are NOW saying he is demented (is that based on his wish to die?) it is harder to get them to withdraw treatment. I am so sorry you all are going through this. To me, when we no longer wish to live life we should not be forced to do so. If there is any psychiatrist who can be found who will say he is competent to make this decision, an advanced directive would help. Good luck going forward with all this heartbreak. If any family can help to take him home to die, that could be done, but it would be grueling without support. Even with sips of water this can go on easily a month, and there is often in last days, due to changes in electrolytes in body, some delushional thinking that is disturbing if there are not comfort medications.
Dad is young. If he is eventually placed in LTC, they will not be allowed to force him to do anything. Even with a Dementia diagnosis. The law says he is an adult and as such cannot be made to do what he does not want to. They can coax but they cannot force. With having other patients, they can't spend too much time on one person. Hospice could probably be called in if he was actively dying.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She was examined by a psychiatrist and determined to be competent to make her own medical decisions. The hospital threatened to take my BIL, her POA to court to get guardianship and he told them "my mother has a right to die if she wants to".
Hospice was brought in (or maybe it was palliative care, I don't really recall), she went into a NH with good comfort care and passed away after many weeks.
If you are POA, you need someone to tell you if your dad has the capacity to make this decision.
Also, please read Atul Gawande's On Being Mortal.
I am hoping this changes. We are an aging population and I have long been a member of advocacy groups for our right to die.
As there are no advanced directives and doctors are NOW saying he is demented (is that based on his wish to die?) it is harder to get them to withdraw treatment.
I am so sorry you all are going through this. To me, when we no longer wish to live life we should not be forced to do so.
If there is any psychiatrist who can be found who will say he is competent to make this decision, an advanced directive would help. Good luck going forward with all this heartbreak. If any family can help to take him home to die, that could be done, but it would be grueling without support. Even with sips of water this can go on easily a month, and there is often in last days, due to changes in electrolytes in body, some delushional thinking that is disturbing if there are not comfort medications.