I have tried for at least the last two years to get my two brothers together and talk about Durable Power of Attorney. I have even called an attorney to get info on the DPOA. I was told Mother has to be there along with us to assign who she wants as POA. I wanted to get this accomplished while she was still lucid. Now
I am pretty sure it is too late. She has really declined and if we did meet with an attorney.... at this point in time...(IF we could even get her out the door to go), he'd realize she's not in her right mind to make any decisions. I always thought of this end of life decision as something to be shared and talked over with each other. We get along and live close to each other. But, being the female, it's all left up to me. If she goes into a nursing home they would probably want to know who is responsible for her....we'd have no legal paperwork.....and it ain't gonna be me.
Like others on here, I have sleep problems, depression. It's taken over my life.
Do not miss that I said "with everyone's agreement." When ALL F YOU get there with mom, after giving her a heads up just before, you lead the conversation with the attorney. "Mom, ATTY X put the paperwork together for your powers of attorney. Tom's healthcare. Bob's financial. Sign here."
See if it flies. You have nothing to lose, in my opinion, as long as you and your brothers are her only inheritors. If the atty calls you on it, you are in the perfect position to ask what else can be done. And then do it. Probably guardianship.
People can be dementia'd and still have a sense right-then-right-there what's going on. Just because they forget ten minutes later doesn't mean they don't know what they want.
I'm not an attorney.
Remember that you will need witnesses for documents. If you are doing this at a law office, they have staff that do this. If doing at home, you need to have a couple of folks to be witnesses who are not family for this. Neighbors or church friends who are retired are who I'd ask. Also if they are still living in your childhood home, there are probably old high school alums of yours in the 'hood that will come over to do this as they are dealing with this exact issue. Good luck.