My mom has dementia and is getting worse. She gas been in NH for over a year on Medicaid. The nursing home received a letter from Medicaid asking if the house has been listed for sale yet because the 13 month waiver period is over. Mom refuses to give me (only child) poa of any kind, financial or medical. She refuses to sign papers to sell house. She says she's going home but there is no way. Will Medicaid eventually put the house up for sale in their own? I don't care. I don't want it. I am I ohio.
Good about your daughter in the the house and paying for things as 1 missed tax bill can cause all sorts of issues.But there's a couple of things to keep in mind. Is she paying actual rent or paying the mortgage in lieu of rent? If it's actual rent then more than likely Medicaid will consider it monthly income for Medicaid & want it reported and included in your mom's monthly copay to the NH. Also it might be a good idea to have something in writing as to what your daughter's duties are for the house - like yard maintenance, monitor for vandalism (if the neighborhood has issues like this), winterize the house, just whatever to establish that her living at the house has a value that otherwise you or others would have to pay for.
Although dementia can happen even in your 50's, 72 is still young for it. Has mom had a geriatric psyc evaluation? My gut feeling is that there is something bigger than dementia going on for her. Dementia seems to be slow creep of loss of cognitive ability but it sounds like for your mom this is all recent & intense. I just wonder if there is more than dementia going on or that she has one of more uncommon dementia's which need a different set of medications that what is prescribed for Alzheimers. You know having her become a "ward of the state" could in the long run be the best way for her to get the level of care she might need. You as a DPOA have to call around and find things and figure out stuff from square one but if she is a ward of the state really she would have someone who basically is a professional guardian and has the ability to cut through red tape as they have state appointed authority. In a way it could be ideal as when you are with mom it can be about spending time together as opposed to trying to cajole her to deal with legal issues. There are different levels of guardianships too - just what really depends on your state laws. Good luck in all this, none of it is simple.
The thing is, I get the feeling that you asked a practical question, about what will happen in terms of administering your mother's property and affairs, and you got some practical answers. But I suspect that what you might actually be struggling with is the emotional side of all this? Clearly there's some history going on. Why not have a look at some other threads and see if any chimes with what you're feeling. Best of luck to you; and try not to worry - you can never be held responsible for decisions your mother made.
For most of us we wanted to make sure our parents did not make bad decisions and choices therefore we wanted to have DPOA so we could have control of her medical and financial affairs. We are not responsible for paying for her bills out of our pocket but we made sure that she wasn't giving the money away to every telemarketer that called on the phone either.
When your parent is ill you make decisions for them regarding their care and carrying out their wishes right up to death and many times even after death. I am currently dealing with the "after death" aspects of Mom's estate.
If you have not been involved up to now and do not wish to be involved then just let it alone as though your Mom has no relatives. The state and the nursing home will take what the want.
If tina's mom has been in a NH for a year, then what has happened with taxes, utilities, maintenance etc on the house. Are bills just building up? Could there be a tax sale issue looming?if mom is having dementia now for a while, could she have done something odd with the house that has complicated the title? Jeapordized ownership? Situations like these seem to morph out of control.
If mom just flat refuses to do what is needed for Medicaid to totally approved her, the state will suspend payments. Nh will start hounding family to pay. NH doesnt want the house, they want to get paid but will file a lein on house for nonpayment amount. It all can get really layers of problems fast. If mom flat refuses to work with her daughter & her cognitive state is too far gone then a G/C will need to be done whether by an emergency ward done by state or tina's filing & paying to become moms G/C. Tina really needs to do whatever to not have moms problems become hers & a year of NH could run 100K.
So what realistically works for you? If you want to direct what happens for her & her assets, & she flat wont give you a DPOA then you are going to have to file for guardianship or conservator ship. This is somewhere between 4k - 10k to do and you really need an attorney. OR mom can become a "ward of the state" & the court will appoint someone who is vetted to be a G/C under your states system. The house will be sold to pay for her care. The G/C want family to be involved so don't feel you will be shut out. That is rare and usually because of some on the record impropriety (like validated elder abuse). You can speak with the Social worker @ the NH on this as to how to start a ward of the state.
It sound like the NH is wanting to work with your mom. If she's been there a year & Medicaid still hasn't cleared the house waiver, then Medicaid is probably going to suspend payment for her. Read the letter theybgotbto see if this is implied. If this happens the NH is not going to be quite as nice. If you did not sign off to be Financially or legally responsible on any of the admissions forms, then they can't come after you. But if you did, they can. I'd very carefully go over all the admissions paperwork ASAP.
A 1 year waiver for property sale is really generous. What state? & what does the waiver cover? Does she still do a monthly co pay to NH or just a partial copay.? I'm really curious how it's been waived. For my mom, I was told by the caseworker that if i was to place moms house on market it would be a 6 month waiver for utilities, insurance taxes for a 6 mo signed listing agreement with a Realtor (no FSBO) with bills and payments documented.
When she was admitted to the NH, did anyone sign as her guarantor or anything regrettable like that? Who has been handling her finances? Because unless it was you, I agree with Dave - she wouldn't let you get involved, so don't get involved. Be glad it's not your problem!
How did medicaid have the right to ask a NH about this?
If the house is not protected from medicaid, Medicaid eventually get money back from house being sold.
Having a good elder affairs attorney to give you councel is worth the money to you. I have an elder sister who has no family with POA etc,, my lawyer says tell those who ask me for information to contact her attorney or they can go through the courts for answers,
Your mom is in a NH, my suggestion is not to get involved between the NH and Medicaid.