My mom has alzheimers and dad is sole caregiver. They moved to Fl years ago and me and my 2 brothers live in RI. Mom fell in December and suffered a concussion. I am wondering what kind of information I should check on while visiting in the way of financial, medical, etc. I have a meeting with their case manager but wonder what else I should check on. Dad wants to be completely self reliant but he is 85 years old.
I would also check on the state of their finances which if you are her Durable POA, you have a right and a responsibility to know about. How they are doing with taking their medication, and how competent your dad is despite our he wants to be as a completely self-reliant 85 year old.?
Too many elderly parents attempt to put on a good show when adult children come to visit or when they go to see a doctor. That may or may not be reality.
Does anyone check on them on some kind of regular basis?
I hate to put it this way, but you sort of have to detach somewhat so that you can be a very observant detective for them.
2). Get permission to review all bank accounts, debts, assets, etc, and get a clear idea of what their estate entails and most importantly, get a good picture of their debts and liabilities. These are more important than their assets, right now.
3). Meet with the case manager and discuss what you discovered when doing #1 and #2 and formulate a care plan.
4). Make sure dad knows you are willing, able and AVAILABLE to "assist" him. In reality, you know you will be handling this, not him; stroke his ego only as long as he's able to actually perform the caregiver role. If he isn't capable now, you need to take over now.