Also, what other care should be provided legally? She's been in the hospital since June 4th and they want to put a feeding tube in her stomach and then move her to a nursing home. It is clear to the entire family that she is fighting to live. She responds to everything we say and do. She cannot speak except to say yes and no but she nods and shakes her head, squeezes our hands, moves her feet and legs. She also cannot open her eyes but has cried (had actual tears) when a certain relative came to visit. She also holds, pets and waves a stuffed animal. The hospital has a stroke floor but would not put her there because the stroke was not diagnosed until after she was admitted. She is currently only receiving physical therapy, and has a feeding tube through the nose. Our family wants her to be placed in rehab after she is discharged from the hospital.
For my mom, she fell & shattered hip from pulling her wheelchair at the NH she had been in for about 2 years. Now she could have had feeding tube but her advance directive stated no feeding tube. Instead the medical director wrote orders for assisted feeding & mechanized food, so the tray delivered by dietary would have been either diced for veggies or pounded thin then cooked and diced for proteins AND a CNA would sit and help mom eat as needed. After the first month, 1 meal a day would be a sandwich & sliced fruit as she could hold it. Now all this meant everbody - docs, dietary, nursing, cleaning staff - was all on the same page to have this done.
My thought and not to sound harsh, is that the MD if he is really pushing the feeding tube placed, well he has written off your mom. If he is balking at writing orders for rehab with both PT & OT, he doesn't think she is a survivor. You are going to have to do whatever to get her eating and get a second opinion to get rehab ordered. For foodstuffs, get toddler foods - all kinds of new varieties available now. Plus their shelf stable and she likely can eat most of a jar. Also often grocers carry birthday party size goodies ( like a box of a dz mini sherbets or mini lava cakes). Assisted feeding will be quite messy till you both get a rhythm going so bring a towel or pillowcase to drape around mom and wet wipes. For my mom day 10 after fall was the turning point for recovery. Good luck & keep your energy going.