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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
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You are going to get some good answers on this from peeps here. And it is varied. Quite so. If pissed off in facility, that's a different animal.
Going back in time, what YOU remember,,,the good stuff. Going over. We did bee keeping, cattle, snapping turtles, fried chicken (soak in buttermilk),etc.
One person's experience is one person's. Best to you and take care
Patience, gentleness and depending on the stage of dementia, it can be helpful to talk to them as if they are a child. Truth is, they often times are a child "in their own minds." I've found that the sweeter and kinder I am with my Mother, the easier she is to get along with. Not only that - she seems happier. Sometimes I call her by her Dad's pet name for her. She hasn't heard his voice in over 60 years, but lights up like a child when she hears it. Pictures, if you can get some, are very helpful. They stimulate memory and conversation. Music - especially from their youth is a great communicator. Good luck to you and bless you for your concern.
Most people who have posted have said to keep the communication slow and clear. It takes time for a person with dementia to process information, so if you go too fast it all gets lost. Start by saying the person’s name, and face them while you talk, so that they know they should try to follow what you are saying. That’s about the actual way you communicate. The other posts are great, and are about what to talk about, which is different. Best wishes.
I love visiting my LO, and although she is extremely repetitious, we have great chats about fashion, the Church, old times and old family events, and her great grand nieces and nephews. When I mention names I always give her a casual “anchor”- “...graduated in your HS class” “....worked in the lawyer’s office..” “the jeweler’s on First Street...” which I think helps her to relate to what I’m saying.
She has sort of a memorized repertoire of comments that she uses to fill the voids that occur in conversations, and I’m fortunately near enough to her facility to be available for lunchtime or in the middle morning, so I get to interact with her when there are things to be chatted about.
She would pick up on any attempt that would sound to her as being condescending, so I don’t do that.
I often throw in comments about how glad I am that she’s near me, because that’s the truth. I’m very grateful to be able to help her get the best care I can manage. She deserves it.
As referenced in another reply - your question could be addressed in different ways. What to talk about or how to talk - both with the end hope of there being meaning to the person with dementia.
My reply is to technique.
I have noticed many similarities in individuals with dementia and those with autism.
One being - in the later stages of dementia words can lose their meaning. For example, if talking about a past family picnic, the individual may no longer recognize the word “picnic” or it’s meaning.
Typically, individuals with autism are visual processors verses auditory ones. A common technique for communicating with those with autism is to us a “story board” - which is a series of pictures that accompanies the verbal words.
I suggest when possible - even with folks with less severe dementia - to use photographs. Taking along a family photo album and talking about the occasions and events in the pictures can be a good activity. Using a tablet is also good - much better than pics on a phone as those tend to be too small for good visual processing. One of my mothers favorite activities was to look through her wedding album with me. In the beginning, she told me the stories surrounding each picture and towards the end - I told her.
Even if the person with dementia does no longer recognize the person or place - the occasion in the picture, they will still better be able to understand what you’re discussing.
I also recomed this format for individuals that forget how to do things that has steps. For instance - going to the bathroom. Try taping up a large piece of poster board and attach actual photographs of the steps in sequence of the process. Lol - you can crop the photo to remove the face/head for privacy.
My experience with my mom, who has late stage Alzheimer’s, is treat her with kindness and an extreme amount of patience. My mom lives with my husband and I for the last 3 years. When I speak to her, I speak slowly and look her in the eyes. That seems to make a difference. Every day is different and a learning experience. Every person is different but always treat whoever it is, with love and how you would want to be treated.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Going back in time, what YOU remember,,,the good stuff. Going over. We did bee keeping, cattle, snapping turtles, fried chicken (soak in buttermilk),etc.
One person's experience is one person's. Best to you and take care
She has sort of a memorized repertoire of comments that she uses to fill the voids that occur in conversations, and I’m fortunately near enough to her facility to be available for lunchtime or in the middle morning, so I get to interact with her when there are things to be chatted about.
She would pick up on any attempt that would sound to her as being condescending, so I don’t do that.
I often throw in comments about how glad I am that she’s near me, because that’s the truth. I’m very grateful to be able to help her get the best care I can manage. She deserves it.
My reply is to technique.
I have noticed many similarities in individuals with dementia and those with autism.
One being - in the later stages of
dementia words can lose their meaning. For example, if talking about a past family picnic, the individual may no longer recognize the word “picnic” or it’s meaning.
Typically, individuals with autism are visual processors verses auditory ones. A common technique for communicating with those with autism is to us a “story board” - which is a series of pictures that accompanies the verbal words.
I suggest when possible - even
with folks with less severe dementia - to use photographs. Taking along a family photo album and talking about the occasions and events in the pictures can be a good activity. Using a tablet is also good - much better than pics on a phone as those tend to be too small for good visual processing. One of my mothers favorite activities was to look through her wedding album with me. In the beginning, she told me the stories surrounding each picture and towards the end - I told her.
Even if the person with dementia does no longer recognize the person or place - the occasion in the picture, they will still better be able to understand what you’re discussing.
I also recomed this format for individuals that forget how to do things that has steps. For instance - going to the bathroom. Try taping up a large piece of poster board and attach actual photographs of the steps in sequence of the process.
Lol - you can crop the photo to remove the face/head for privacy.