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The situation: My sister and I are moving my elderly mother to an assisted living facility near my sister. I have POA, but not my sister. My sister needs to buy a lot of stuff for my mom's new place, and we are wondering what the best way to do this is.


Is there an easier solution than constantly re-imbursing my sister? That just doesn't seem like a good long-term solution (too tedious). Can my sister open a CC and just have payment come directly & automatically from my mom's account?


BTW, I have 110% trust in my sister. I just want to make this easy for her.

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You can take sister to bank to open a credit card account where she, you and mom are all on the account. Make sure to bring POA original document and documentation that mom is mentally incompetent to the bank.
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jimcetera: Imho, perhaps you can make your sister an authorized user on your credit card.
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If your mother has a checking account, your sister could be added as a joint account holder and use that account to pay bills or buy things for your mother. You have already said your trust her, so a joint account should not be a problem.
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Missymiss Jun 2023
It makes a difference on death if there is no Payable on Death beneficiary named on the bank account. Names of living survivors on the account become the account owners and share what is there. Hopefully with no arguments about how to split it. Something I learned from an attorney.
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There is also credit/debit card called True link which helps track all spending, which enables you as POA, to carry out your responsibilities but let’s your sister do what is needed. You can get it in your mother’s name but give it to your sister. It gets linked to your Mom’s checking or savings account, you decide. There is a monthly fee but for me it is worth it since you can get reports as POA, you can also limit where purchases can be made etc.
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Yes, debit card is best tied to your mom's checking account. And your mom can put your sister on her checking account account as a signer if writing checks becomes necessary. Debit is best as ONLY funds there can be spent. The problem with a credit card, is if your sister is "on that account" (which is separate from the debit card tied to the checking account), then she may become financially responsible for the debt if she is named as an "authorized user" and depending on her bank rules in your State.

If things need to be purchased on credit (there are insufficient funds to pay the total via a debit card), just have your sister use your mother's credit card. Also, frankly ordering online (Amazon Prime, or directly from stores) makes this so easy.

I have my mom's debit card as one of the payment forms in my personal Amazon Prime account. She is in a nursing home and has Medicaid long term care coverage. When/if she needs something (not that she needs that much -- candy, new hair brush, dental floss), I just order via Amazon Prime, pick her debit card to pay and the items arrive (I can ship them directly to her if I will be away for a bit) and there is a clear record for Medicaid what was spent so there are no questions/problems about how her funds are spend to assure she maintains Medicaid coverage.

Sounds like your mom is going to a "private pay" assistive living facility rather than a nursing home for which Medicaid might be involved (?). That said, you may want to think about some of this for the longer term in the event she does need Medicaid nursing home coverage within 5 years. Medicaid has a 5-year look back provision; whereby your State Medicaid folks will want to look at all accounts, all account transactions for her spending going back a full 5 years.

Setting things up from a financial and spending standpoint and NOT having appropriate receipts can be a problem. Example, avoid any and all cash expenditures as there is no real receipt. If you keep it all in her name -- her debit card, just her credit card -- it is smoother if at some future date Medicaid nursing home coverage might be needed.
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Missymiss Jun 2023
An elder care attorney suggested I set up a soared Amazon account for my mom as a way to keep her expenses completely separate.
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I make all the purchases for my mom using her debit card. I’m 4 hrs away.
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Debit card. Similar situation/distance here. My sister had the debit card, let me know when she used it and I entered it in checkbook. Rarely, she'd forget but it showed up when I reconciled account.
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Another way is to set up an account for your sister with said amount in it to use for your mother. Then this account with you on it too will have money in it with a debit card attached to it. You will be covering both your butts then if anything comes back to say where is the money spent.

Prayers
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my daughter has a credit card issued under our account in her name. Check with credit card company if that can be done.,We gave her the credit card when she was in college. We decided to continue it even now because it is convenient for her to have it if she is helping us out with something. We trust her 100% and she certainly does not abuse the privilege.
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Worriedspouse Jun 2023
I do that too with my husband’s kids (from previous marriage) because they are great bargain shoppers. If they see a good deal on diapers or pull-ups, etc., they call me on the phone and buy them immediately if I say YES. Otherwise, snooze and lose.

One drawback: if the credit card is lost or stolen, it can be a headache.
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Give your sister your credit card or make her an authorized user on your CC acct with a card of her own. All charges will go to you.
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My Mom has her savings and SS check feed a checking account with a set amount of money each month, which pays her bills.
We have a credit card in Mom's name linked to the checking account. I purchase things for my mother with the credit card, the POA goes online and approves the credit card payment each month. For big purchase items I take a picture of each receipt with my phone, and send it to the POA, or if it's an online purchase I email him the receipt.
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I got a credit card in my own name and used it exclusively for my mother's expenses. I paid for it out of her bank account as I was her POA.

A tip if you do this -- Find out if the nursing home accepts credit card payments for the monthly bill. The first nursing home my mother was in did accept them, and we got about $250 a month back after paying off the bill each month.

If that's the case for your mom's place, make sure you get a credit card with a cash back feature. I got a Citi Mastercard and I know Discover is a cash back card as well. (Some places still don't take Discover, though, so check in advance.)
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DrBenshir Jun 2023
Credit card with air miles?
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Billing should go directly to you for any purchases. This can often be arranged through credit card that is for your Mom's accounts specifically, or debit card. Speak to the banker where you maintain your mother's accounts. As POA you are responsible for a PAPER trail that accounts for all purchases made for your mother, every penny in and out of her accounts. Speak to the banking manager where you do your POA work. Or speak with an accountant.

Your Sister can send you receipts, also, on a monthly basis, for which you can create your files and write out a month reimbursement check to her, keeping all of this carefully accountable by saving receipts and keeping copies monthly of her presentation of receipts and your check outgoing.

Good luck. Hope you find what works best for you. POA is no easy job; I did it for my brother as well as acting as his trustee. We lived in same state and not the same town and it was complicated, to say the least.
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Why don't you as POA apply for a CC for your mom. The credit limit can be set low and the monthly statements would come to you so you can keep track of things.
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