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Unless things have changed, I was under the impression all siblings have equal footing in decision making for a parent in the absence of a spouse.

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You are mistaken. A competent person, in this case, your parent, assigns their POA, to whomever they choose.
If the principal ( parent) is not able to assign their power to an agent, then anyone can file for guardianship and the court will decide. 
More than one agent (POA) may be assigned by the principal to work together or for one to succeed the next. 
While families may defer to the eldest, it is not a law. 
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to 97yoldmom: Thanks for your response. Parent is no longer competent, hence we are in this situation. 2 siblings are estranged
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POA is given to whomever the parent chooses, regardless of birth order. There are many possible factors in their decision - does the child live in the same city as the parent and therefore would be most likely to be there in emergencies or even just being able to talk to the parent's doctors. Does the parent feel a child is best suited to making decisions for the parent per the parent's wishes?

Usually there's only one or two POA's, as more than that could be a train wreck when there are differing opinions. My sister and I are POA's for our mom, and we talk about everything. But even with us getting along well, the rule is whoever lives in the same city as Mom is the final decision maker.
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mdavis1, anyone can be a Power of Attorney for a parent.... the spouse, the parent's brother or sister, a grown child, a niece or nephew, a neighbor, a CPA, the Attorney, even the mailman.

As for all the siblings having equal footing on discussions, if everyone is on the same page that would be great, but usually there are differences when it comes to how to care for a parent. Which would delay what should be done for the parent.

Thus a good reason for the parent to have a Power of Attorney. Now, one child could be the financial POA if they are good with handling money and another child be the backup in case the primary POA named is unable to handle the POA. Same with a medical POA.

Does your parent already have a Power of Attorney?  If not, it is too late to have an Attorney drawn one up as you had mentioned that the parent is no longer competent.  Guardianship would be the next step.
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freflyer, no, the parent does not have a POA and no longer competent. There are no other family except 2 feuding siblings who are decision makers by default. Thanks for everyone's input. I just wanted to know if an older sibling has priority to become POA. Thanks again
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