I need to find a form I can have notarized indicating who I want my caregiver to be. My daughter is mentally unstable but has always thought it would be her, but I’m not comfortable with that. I want my son and his wife to be responsible for my care and decisions. I know having it in writing will avoid much of the conflict when this time comes. I have a very strong history of Alzheimer’s in my family.
The attorney may suggest a fiduciary of some sort to be successor, so they won't age out or die on you, opening a door for your daughter. You might also include specific wording that prevents her from being considered as well.
You, however, can’t make him or his wife personally contact to do the hands on caregiving because you want to remain home or remain with them for the rest of your days.