She has little income. She has been falling quite a bit lately, but she recently had an accident which i think has intensified her health issues. I'm the only one that she could stay with, but she really does not want to move to sc. My hubby and I have only been married a little over 1 year. He thinks that if mom moves in that he is gonna be put in the middle and will have to eventually be the bad guy. My health is not the best, i have filed for diss and our finances are not well. I don't want mom to have to be put into a nursing home but i'm not sure if we should be the ones to take her in. she has her heart set to move back to va..she is not able to live alone. does anyone have any suggestions
My suggestion is that along with your siblings who want to participate you start researching assisted living or nursing homes in the area where your mother wants to live.
Also, you mentioned she has little income. It is my understanding (I'm new at this part), that your bank accounts and pension are looked into and then if you have a home, that is attached. A nursing home to my knowledge is not allowed to attach your home if you have a spouse living in the home or a disabled child.
Also, could she qualify for Medicaid? I do believe when someone does qualify, they have to go where a bed is available. It is not always close to home even though they do try as much as possible to keep you close to your family if they can. Good luck and (((hugs))).
If Mom has lived alone up to now she must have a source of income that covered the rent and food. She should now be using that income to cover the costs of living with you.
To qualify for Medicaid, a person's income and assets are reviewed. The income and assets of relatives is not reviewed. Mom has to qualify financially; Daughter does not. I wasn't clear about what you were saying regarding "your bank accounts."
You had mentioned you were in the process of applying for disability (I think you yourself). If you are caregiving for your mom, that may come into question and affect your opportunity.