She is currently living in a Sr Independent living facility. she will not clean her home or food shop. I have a cleaning lady coming in and we do the food shopping. That has stopped her from eating fast food daily. She is active with church and water aerobics. A big concern is her lack of self. She doesn't notice or care if she is dirty. She doesn't remember to brush teeth. She wears the same clothes daily....even underwear. She will put her dirty clothes back in closet. The only time she bathes is when she goes to water aerobics. I live an hour away and cannot check in with her daily.
It's interesting that your Mom's facility doesn't have housekeeping and/or linen service for their residents. Or offer either 1 meal or 3 meals a day at the common dining room. Are these optional costs?
Since your Mom is active with church and water aerobics, then it appears she is doing well, and doesn't need Memory Care. Not grooming isn't always an indication that her memory is slipping, sounds more like grooming isn't that important to her right now. Nothing wrong with wearing the same clothing two days in a row or every other day.
Just curious, how do you know that Mom isn't changing her clothes daily and not brushing her teeth?