I care for my 98 year old grandfather-in-law, my husband and his mother (my grandfather in laws daughter) are power of attorney over grandpa. My mother in law is constantly harassing us, calling, texting mean and cruel things. When she is blocked she calls from private numbers and calls grandpas phone unrelentingly. She has threatened our careers and called our work places. She has come to visit twice in the 5 months he has lived with us, only creating trouble with each visit, noting she only lives 20 miles away. When she has come to visit she has charged grandpa gas money, and wrote checks to herself. She refuses to help with groceries, providing respite care for us, or doctors visit. She dictates daily what she wants done and has called the police before and contacted the state about welfare of grandpa. Grandpa's primary care doctor says he is cleaner and healthier that she has ever seen him. We bathe him, change his diapers and provide around the clock care for him, while still trying to manage our life. The harassment from my mother in law has included 100's of text messages, Facebook messages, calls from her number and blocked numbers. She makes threats and calls at all hours of the day and night. This behavior is now interfering with the care we are able to provide to him. When she gets upset she calls places that help us with care and demands that no information be shared with us. She put my grandfather-in-law up for Christmas adoption, noting that he has our family that he will be celebrating Christmas with. She is wanting strangers to come into our home through the holidays. She claims to be unable to help with any care for him. She is slathering our life with mean and nasty comments on a minutely basis some days. We have looked into options of emergency guardian ship and elderly abuse. We have also looked into restraining orders due to her threatening our careers. At this point we are lost in what steps we can and should take to eliminate her from our lives until she can get mental health help. If anyone has advise they can offer, please we are desperate at this time, this is hurting grandpa and our marriage.
You do not have to let these people into ur house. You can kindly tell them that ur GFIL does not need anything and to please give the gift to someone who could use it.
This would be one meeting and then your husband has sole DPOA and HCPOA.
Then you would send everyone involved with grandpa's care a copy and change all contact information to your husband.
At that point you can file an injuction of harassment and enforce it. This lady is crazy and you shouldn't feel guilty about doing whatever it takes to protect yourself and your family. Some people will not learn and they have to be stopped, she has already proven that she will destroy your lives if possible.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with psycho mil while caring for your gpail.
Since GMIL calls so often and you want to keep the voice mails, you might want to download an app to transfer the saved voice mails to a online storage or a computer
I have caller ID too. See immediately who is calling and can choose not to answer. For scams, I pick up and put down the receiver. Can't stand the ringing.
You need to polish up on your ability to ignore crazy people. Ignoring requires shielding yourself from emotional reactions to all outbursts.
You say you have “looked into” some initiatives to manage your MIL’s inappropriate assaults. Now act on what you’ve learned.
They would keep him safe from this monster.
You have stated a couple of times investigations threaten your jobs as a police officer and a nurse. Could you explain why? I understand how repeated complaints to the same police organization where your husband works are embarrassing and could lead a very unpleasant internal affairs investigation but unless an investigation found some wrong doing on your part, I don't understand how an investigation threatens your jobs.
They would involve APS and daughter's POA could be voided due to abuse.