She has dementia and moved in with us, she brought her small dog. The problem is the dog constantly turns on my small dog. It's getting overwhelming for all of us. Is it cruel to ask her to get rid of the dog. She would go with a familt member but I'm concerned how my mother in law will handle letting her dog go. She feels like she's already lost everything.
Short and more realistic option: Research to determine if there are any dog obedience training classes in your are so your MIL's dog can learn to be social.
There might be some turf issues such as MIL's dog needing to establish her role in the hierarchy already existing between your 2 dogs.
Last shot: get some dog obedience books from the library and search online for dog obedience training.
My mother used pee pads but often put them upside down so the pee ran into the carpets and Sue learned to go on carpets as well. She also often bit my mother. Three years have passed and with proper handling she's changed, becoming a "real" dog with manners. I leave pee pads down overnight but in waking hours she goes out to potty with Ashy Girl, a black lab, 9, who came from rescue a couple of years ago.
I like the idea of crating or maybe a baby gate, though that might make things worse - sometimes, feeling braver, they're more aggressive behind a barrier. I would suggest the dogs have their own personal sleeping spots and eat separately, in different rooms if you can. The majority of dog spats are just a lot of noise and posturing and I don't step in unless someone is getting hurt. They will sort out the pack order themselves in time. Dog Bless and Woof!
Lela I mentioned that Sue often bit my mother. She bit me once and discovered that wasn't a good idea. Every time she went for me I'd push her down on the floor and hold her down until she stopped struggling (thank god she wasn't a 100lb rotti lol). She got tired of spending time on the floor. It didn't hurt her and she quickly realized I was the pack leader, the alpha wolf if you like. If the brat is the one that starts it, try doing as I did. Say sternly "Hey", grab it by the scruff, push it down and hold it. Only let it up when it stops struggling. This may eventually solve the problem.
I'm no dog trainer but I've had big rescue dogs (3 together, 2 lab types and a bernese x, at one time) all my life. Yep, sometimes they were a challenge. One of the lab types, Jessie, was deaf and often incontinent and in the beginning the berner, Sara Jane, after my grandma who rescued every waif and stray animal, ate the doors but we survived. From an accident as a child I have physical issues and I'm not big or strong but with patience and perseverance (and banging my head on a wall from time to time) everyone got manners and got along.
These days I live in the country with Sue, Ashy Girl and the Mouse Squad: Charlie, 8, off the street when I lived in the city, Pixie, 7, inherited from my mother, Katie, 7 pulled from a horrible situation when she was little and Lucy, 1, found on one of these back dirt roads last year, so tiny she could sit in the palm of your hand, sick and starving. The person who found her was going to take her to a shelter but I knew they'd kill her immediately ... that wasn't happening, so home she came. She's the sweetest creature but, from such a poor beginning I guess, she's deaf so I don't let her out. Went off track but I know many here are animal lovers like me. Personally I prefer them to most humans.
Please let us know how it goes. In my heart I know it will all be fine in the end.
I guess pet rearing is as individual as child rearing - but I say never hit your dog.
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