My mother has dementia and a UTI. Every morning she asks me for "just another little white pill" referring to her Ativan. I usually give her one, then she is back in a few minutes asking for another. I tell her I just gave her one. She knows, but she wants another. She starts saying please in a begging voice until I finally have to get really forceful with my NO. Then I feel bad because I raised my voice.
A little bit later, the scene replays. She says she wants it because she has to go to the bathroom too often. I know that Ativan wouldn't do a thing to help that. I am coming to realize that she may have a fear of death, since she knows it will be soon. I'm not able to reach her spiritually, since she is so shut inside herself. The begging is creating a whole new level of stress in an already stressful situation.
I know one of the first suggestions will be an automated pillbox, so thought I would mention that it wouldn't work. I'm trying to think of a way to reach her through conversation, but I don't know if there is a way. Maybe the only way is to keep doing what I'm doing. I wish she would accept a quiet no and not keep begging under I have to raise my voice.
The good news is that Mom is feeling better this morning. I hope the infection is finally clearing. Between my brother visiting week before last and the UTI last week, this has been a hard stretch of time in this household. I woke up this morning, thinking we might need to go to the hospital. I was relieved to see her looking brighter and more cheerful than she has in a long time. It will be a pleasure to go to the doctor, instead of the hospital.
What would be the problem with having a large supply of placebo pills to give her whenever she wants them?
This is something I believe that if her doctor had prescribed something right away, it wouldn't be this bad. The doctor at the urgent care facility we ended up going to was much better. We don't know if it is the right antibiotic yet... it has only been 2 days. Goodness, it feels like 2 years.
Hugs to you, dear Jessie, this journey just doesn't get easier, does it?
Something that helped was that the thread on peeing too much was resurrected here on AC. I read that, then told my mother that a lot of women over 80 had the same problem having to pee too often. We go back to the doctor about her UTI tomorrow. I hope it is clearing. The infection adds a seriouness to the frequent peeing.