My mother in law is a natural introvert and she just has a lousy appetite these days. She has a severe aortic stenosis and is tired a lot and just needs to be quiet and rest, but the facility is so obsessed about the importance of socialization and participation in activities that they won't leave her alone. So many AL's are like this. Have they never heard of introverts? They want to 'get to know her' and 'learn her interests'. Her interests are that she likes to be by herself and watch TV or read. How do we get them to back off?
I hope this helps, prayers to you & Mom
They of course will continue to offer, but once you speak with the persons in charge of activities (there is always one) and explain the nature of your MIL you may be able to help get things logged into the care plan. And of course, they ARE learning about her. And they WILL learn what she likes and what she doesn't.
She may also surprise you. Suddenly there was my brother going on the tour bus to see the homes of the stars and going to the movies and picking roses for the communal dining room table, and being the treasurer for their small fund for gift giving, and so on. Mostly he remained on the sidelines people watching, and people gave him his space when they knew him.
The facility is doing just what it should be doing. That your MIL doesn't wish to participate in art classes or whatever, animal visits, tours, is fine. They will learn this and she will learn to tell them "no".
I myself an introverted, but I would resent not being asked to bingo if everyone ELSE was! Just sayin.................
They don't have all the amenities and activities and you aren't paying for something she won't utilize.
The AL is just doing it's job. Many people refuse to participate in the beginning and their job is to provide enrichment activities.
This situation is why an independent needs assessment should be done, because a facility will say they can meet needs when they aren't the best fit.
Otherwise I would be suspecting depression..
Bring on the 80s discos for me 💃 but once a week is enough.
At Moms AL they did go to ea room and remind the resident that an activity was starting, an entertaiment or a party. My Mom had Dementia and she liked watching people. There should be a calendar of daily activities where family members can see it. Maybe you can pick something that Mom would enjoy and join her. I always liked the man who came and sang 40s/50s and 60s music. Mom would tap her hand to the ryhmn.
When my time comes I will enter an AL. I spend most of my time in my Den so a room in an Al will not be much different. I want to be able, though, to come and go as I please. The one AL we looked at was a little too high for the money she had but I liked the set up. One thing was that meals had a variety of things to eat. That if you didn't want to eat with others, you could take your food back to your room. For me, sometimes I want to socialize and other times I don't.
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