My brother and I (partnering in full time caregiving) are at a loss with how to handle our 96 year old father when he engages in a behavior in a perseverative-repetitive manner for a long period of time. These behaviors are limited to 1-2 a day, for example, praying in morning and reading same page in prayer book for an hour or more, brushing his teeth and-or rinsing his mouth for more than 30 minutes. If my brother or I attempt to stop him and go the logical route by trying to explain to him that he has been performing the action for an excessive amount of time, he becomes livid and seems to be jumpstarted to start the behavior all over again...so we don't know what to do. Any similar experiences, any suggestions? Thank you all in advance.
Eg when toothbrushing has been done for 2 mins, then wave the cup to rinse. Then wave the towel to dry mouth. Then lead out of the bathroom & engage in next activity. Staff are paid to do this in MC -all-day-long.
Check out Teepa Snow's info on dementia - especially Emerald stage'.
Are you, perhaps, thinking that if you correct him it will change the behavior next time? It won't; correcting him and hoping it will change his behavior will only cause you frustration. Learn to let go.
Bgbn, how long have you and your brother been taking care of your father?
Reading the same page of the prayer book - perhaps he doesn't feel satisfied unless he's done it "perfectly" (whatever perfect is to him).
In any case don't intervene unless there is an identifiable need to.
I'm going to flip the page and say that if he starts believing God is giving him "spiritual revelations" (of the crazy sort) then it might be time to redirect perhaps by listening to scripture readings or worship music.
Let him pray and read for whatever time he wants - what does it hurt. Its good that he is practicing good oral hygiene which can go by the wayside with dementia.
If his behavior is due to dementia you and bro will need to plan ahead for dad's future and if his current activities upset you, just wait. Do your research and be very flexible in dealing with dad. As long as its safe let him do what he wants to do.
Good luck and best wishes.
for the most part let them go.
Make sure you switch his toothbrush to a Soft one so he does not damage the teeth. Switch to Non Fluoride toothpaste and a non alcohol mouth wash. This is incase he begins to swallow the toothpaste or rinse.
As for the praying, if it brings him peace or he is calm ding it leave him to pray.
I know too much brushing can damage the guns, especially in older people.
“Logic” is not working to help him, and employing it seems to be disturbing to you.
What are you referring to as “reasonably cognitively intact”. Has he been assessed by a professional trained in geriatrics?
If you are going by the screening type tests used by PCPs to identify gross cognitive decline, he may have been able to perform at a passing level, but still have deficit areas that can be causing him difficulty.
He may also be using his actions as a release from anxiety.
He may respond positively to medication, if his testing reveals such needs present.
So what he reads the same page for an hour. Thankfully he even brushes his teeth.
Learn to let it go and let him do what he wants as long as it doesn't create a safety issue.
His getting livid is an appropriate response to being controlled when no control is needed.
I would report this new behavior to his PCP and get a referral to a neurologist.
If he doesn't have a PCP, try to find a geriatrics doc you can take him to.