My mother has always been fairly dramatic but it has gotten way out of hand. My father was in Pearl Harbor and she told some acquaintances that he shot down a kamikaze plane. That never happened. The next one was that she served in the military. Also never happened; the government paid for her nurse's training during WWII because they need the medical personnel. The war ended when she was half way through her training. She never served at all. I am sometimes at my wits end - when I correct her she gets really upset with me. But I feel I am not doing her a kindness by letting her tell theses whoppers. Should I just let her continue with this without correction or should I correct her. My mom was the type of person who was VERY correct and the worst thing that could happen to her was to be embarrassed. I don't know which would be the best. If she was in her right mind this wouldn't be happening. Her dementia came on fast about a year ago and she is losing ground every day. She'll be 90 on 02/24.
My mom was never one to tell stories. Now with her advanced dementia she uses bluffing to cover for the fact that she doesn't really remember what she did today or what happened years ago. Sometimes she simply can't find the correct words to express what she means. So things she will say can be outlandish at times. I simply acknowledge what she says and rarely correct her.
Good conversation, though. :)
Sometimes she asks what I would do if I wasn't here. I simply tell her I would have my own place and be living happily. She can't get this idea out of her head that I am a pauper. I do think it is an ego defense thing with her that got fixed in her mind.
Okay, what spaceship descended? I wouldn't leave dishes in the sink mainly because she would rinse them and call them washed. I wash them totally before she can do that. The main p*sser, though, was that I do 99.9% of the work at the house. Even if I did leave a bowl, so what?
So it made me mad to hear her say this, even if she thought it might be true. So should I call her on it or just absorb the anger that goes with this type behavior?
Document this with the Dr and video tape under the guise of nanny cam but a double safety of the behaviors you are alleging , afterwards with no proof it is anyone's gamble how things will go.
I used to argue, I used to correct, now I just roll the eyes and if we are out mouth the word dementia to the person who suddenly looks on with shock or admiration (depending on what Mum has said) She told one man how she had cared for her Dad after he lost a leg during the war. Well that sounds nice doesn't it? Save for the fact he lost it in WW1 before she was born!
She doesn't do it much anymore. I don't know why she stopped doing it. She still gets things confused, but the confabulations have stopped almost completely.
Some people in their younger years need to enhance stories to boost their self image. It sounds like this is a behavioral pattern with her.
I'd just smile and compliment her on a life well lived, something like that. What good does it really do to call her out on the mistruths and embellishments? Help make her older years more enjoyable by encouraging her to believe in herself, even if the beliefs are a bit stretched. Most people do need to be proud of what we've done, one way or the other.
Do not correct her.
For other good articles about Alzheimer's/Dementia, go to the blue bar near the top of the page and click on SENIOR LIVING, now click on "Alzheimer's Care", now scroll through the articles to find those that match what you are going through with your Mom.
Educate yourself about dementia.. Teepa Snow videos on youtube are wonderful.. You have a long road ahead of you so try to be prepared..
Good luck..