My dad has lung, liver and colon cancer. However, my dad's side of the family prevents me from seeing him. I have to find my own way to see him both before he was told he had lung and colon cancer. I wanted to visit him everyday, but I couldn't so I called and checked up on him every week and daily. No one seems to think that I'm not hurting. I wanted my dad to live a healthy life and not die due to the drinking and smoking he did before this. I'm all alone when it comes to his side of the family. I just wanted my siblings to get along and I end up getting yelled at again. Somehow my dad's sister involved my mother in this (who she really doesn't know) and my youngest brother insists I'm after my dad's estate/money. I'm in no way like this and my mom's family and my friends know me better then they do. Its just sad, I struggle with depression and sometimes feel it was better that I be in my dad's spot. I can tell that my brothers wouldn't be visiting me. They claim I want people to feel sorry for me, yet they won't talk issues out with me. I know they are taking care of him, but that doesn't mean to make his only daughter in the state an outcast. I'm looking for help because this is a serious issue, I'm pretty sure we won't be on speaking terms when he does leave us. I try to live day to day the best I can. Any advice would help me, I don't want them to prevent me from seeing him in his final days. I'm sure i'll have to find my own ride when his funeral comes too.
Its so sad that I have to cry every night for at least 2 hours because my effort to get to know this family is like breaking out of a secluded island prision. I just delete all the people giving me grief and keep a few neutral ones on that side, even if they are just family friends. I've got bags under my eyes worrying about my dad, because I can't be there like everyone else wants me to be. I keep getting pushed away and I'm not taking it anymore. While all this goes on, I've had panic attacks and my body has started trembling. I've also lost my appetite because of all the bull that gets pointed at me. Tried going to the mall 2 days ago to relax...didn't help. I broke down crying there too. Seems like no one understands me on that side. I don't think its a crime that I have to find a job or get evicted. My friends had to stand up for me on facebook because of it. I made it so they cannot post anything on my wall like that. This is really hurting me and my dad too.
Do you know even one person who also knows the rest of the family? Maybe that person can help them understand that you need to be involved. If there is a chaplain or some other religious leader, or an old friend of your dad's, maybe this person could help them understand that you want to see your dad.
Take care of yourself and do your best, a day at a time, to understand that this whole situation is sick. It's not about you personally.
Carol
If you truly have the best intentions for your Dad, you should be able to see him. Can you enlist your Mom's help? If the brothers and other family have protected his assets, what would be the harm in letting you visit? If you do visit your ailing father, be sure that you do not discuss with him this awful family situation or finances...that would just add to his suffering.
Really, sometimes I think it would be better to have no money at all...then, you would really know who your true friends and caring family are.