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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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There are many articles and comments on this website regarding this very common issue. Go to the upper right corner of this page and you will see "Search Site", type in "driving", and click on the magnifying glass. Up will pop some good articles and also similar questions about taking away those car keys.
I might add, if you take away something from an elder it is best to replace it with something else. Thus taking away one's ability to drive, you will need to help drive your parents, find taxi companies that are good with elders, or if you live in an area that offers elder transportation [check with your local council on aging].
When my dad's car starting showing dings I became concerned. I had no idea what he was hitting whether it was other cars or poles or Lord only knows what. I talked to my dad about giving up driving (my dad was a very reasonable man) but he felt that it wasn't time yet. We went back and forth on the issue over several months, very reasonably, very calmly, but to no avail. My dad had a Dr.'s appointment coming up so we agreed that we'd let the Dr. make the call.
In the meantime I called the Dr.'s office to speak to the nurse. I told her the situation and she made notes in my dad's chart. I felt that the Dr. could be the bad guy and make the call regarding the driving issue.
The day of the appointment I handed the nurse a little note when my dad wasn't looking. The Dr. came in and did his thing and then started talking to my dad about his driving. It was a very civil and calm conversation and the Dr. finally said that my dad shouldn't be driving anymore. As difficult as that was on my dad he obeyed the Dr. and never drove again.
I felt a little manipulative but this driving issue had been going on for months and I felt very strongly about it as did my brother. And the evidence that my dad was hitting things was apparent on his car.
I was sensitive to my dad's feelings and I completely understood why he didn't want to give up driving. But he was old and sick and the risk far outweighed the benefit. Making the Dr. the bad guy was the right thing to do. My dad had been his patient for years and years and he trusted and respected the Dr.
My dad giving up driving was definitely a process. I had to chip and chip away at him and then bring in reinforcements when I was unsuccessful. That worked out well for us.
There are a hundred different ways to deal with elders driving depending on a hundred different situations. Are you dealing wih dementia? Eyesight? Fender benders, getting lost? Elders cooperative? Probably not. More details would help people advise.
Perhaps you can find ways to make each trip a special one. Finish with a color tour in fall, trip to a special place (for us it's the Dairy Queen), a park, or someplace your parent likes.
The idea is to create a positive, lasting memory of the last event after you take them someplace, so they're left with that memory, and can look forward to more such events.
The nearest major airport was 2 hrs away at my end and 3 hrs away from my parents . 5 hours drive coming and going, plus the extensive time required at each airport. Dad would exit the totally efficient freeway onto roads that went through old communities that marketed their colorful old characters and companies amidst transitioning from old to new. For years he drove to these places as part of his job and yes, he knew every curve like the back of his hand. The last couple trips with my parents I told Mom it was time for us to rent a car to/from the airport. She insisted Dad was still a very good driver. Having traveled two scary trips, by the third year, I told them we would be on standby so did not know when we would arrive. This provided the opportunity to rent a car. Mom likely adjusted to the gradual changes, so she defended Dad's ability to do drive. She continued to drive him around town though her driving had declined some. However after Dad died, Mom was quite willing to let my brother and his family drive her everywhere. She did get frustrated because she had to work around his schedule, but when he was off work, he made a good effort to get her where he could. He also took flex-time to get her to her appointments. Not everyone has flex time, but if you do, maybe it can be used to get parents to/from appointments.
take them to DMV can they pass the test? Written and driving??? Talk to the doctor as well...both my parents failed but still had licenses in another state which happens a lot in Florida....very scary here.....dad kept driving until he died ...thank god mom stopped years and years ago...though occasionally when I have to go to the hospital she would say I'll drop you off.....umm ok...you are in a wheelchair.....those are the funny moments....I stick to a taxi! As much as I will get hate mail Florida drivers NEED to be tested every 2 years over a certain age.....they all drive on out on state licenses they have had 10-15 years....you take your life in your hands daily here......20mph on the freeway.....stopping then reversing 4 blocks down an 8 lane road in 50mph traffic because they missed their turn,(just go around the block) driving the wrong way on exit ramps it blows your mind and is scary as hell...let's NOT let then become a statistic!
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I might add, if you take away something from an elder it is best to replace it with something else. Thus taking away one's ability to drive, you will need to help drive your parents, find taxi companies that are good with elders, or if you live in an area that offers elder transportation [check with your local council on aging].
In the meantime I called the Dr.'s office to speak to the nurse. I told her the situation and she made notes in my dad's chart. I felt that the Dr. could be the bad guy and make the call regarding the driving issue.
The day of the appointment I handed the nurse a little note when my dad wasn't looking. The Dr. came in and did his thing and then started talking to my dad about his driving. It was a very civil and calm conversation and the Dr. finally said that my dad shouldn't be driving anymore. As difficult as that was on my dad he obeyed the Dr. and never drove again.
I felt a little manipulative but this driving issue had been going on for months and I felt very strongly about it as did my brother. And the evidence that my dad was hitting things was apparent on his car.
I was sensitive to my dad's feelings and I completely understood why he didn't want to give up driving. But he was old and sick and the risk far outweighed the benefit. Making the Dr. the bad guy was the right thing to do. My dad had been his patient for years and years and he trusted and respected the Dr.
My dad giving up driving was definitely a process. I had to chip and chip away at him and then bring in reinforcements when I was unsuccessful. That worked out well for us.
The idea is to create a positive, lasting memory of the last event after you take them someplace, so they're left with that memory, and can look forward to more such events.
The last couple trips with my parents I told Mom it was time for us to rent a car to/from the airport. She insisted Dad was still a very good driver. Having traveled two scary trips, by the third year, I told them we would be on standby so did not know when we would arrive. This provided the opportunity to rent a car. Mom likely adjusted to the gradual changes, so she defended Dad's ability to do drive. She continued to drive him around town though her driving had declined some. However after Dad died, Mom was quite willing to let my brother and his family drive her everywhere. She did get frustrated because she had to work around his schedule, but when he was off work, he made a good effort to get her where he could. He also took flex-time to get her to her appointments. Not everyone has flex time, but if you do, maybe it can be used to get parents to/from appointments.