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My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year. She is in the first stage of the disease and still can take care of her basic needs.


Me and my sister live and work in a distant city from our parents' house. Both of us are married and have kids. My mother lives alone after my dad passed away years ago. Our brother lives near my mother's house and passes by whenever he can.

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I wouldn’t move her around from house to house. This will get harder on her (and you) as her condition worsens. A steady routine is vital for someone with Alzheimer’s/dementia. Switching up will be too much for her.
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Does she need a full time or live in caregiver at this point?
If she is early in the stages she may do well for a while with just someone checking in on her a few times a week.
Is there an Adult Day Care that she can go to? Is there a Senior Center where she can get involved in activities?
If there is a concern about her cooking if your brother can bring meals that she can heat up in the microwave that would help. The meals can be frozen so all she has to do is take one out and heat it up. Or he can bring fresh meals daily and while there check to make sure everything is alright.
Since she is early in the diagnosis have you talked to her about what the options are going forward?
Memory Care eventually but would Assisted Living be a possibility soon?
Is there a possibility that you or one of your siblings would have her move in with you? Or would one of you move in with her? (difficult uprooting a family...)
These are discussions to have NOW not in 6 months or more.
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Rania82, I would vote for your Mom to stay in her home with a caregiver. As others had mention, routine is so very important. And a caregiver is one who can see if there are any changes happening with your Mother.

Example, my Dad's caregiver told me it was time that my Dad move into senior living, which totally surprised me. Guess my Dad was "show timing" when I visited thus he was alert and clear minded [I don't quite understand how those with memory issues are able to do that].

With your Mom staying in her own town, everything is familiar. When she turns on the news, familiar faces are giving her the news. Her neighbors are familiar. And when she is out and about with the caregiver, the roads and stores are familiar.

Are you thinking about a caregiver moving in with your Mom? That can become difficult as that caregiver will feel like they are on the job 24/7 with no free time to themselves. It might be better to call an Agency and have different caregivers come over to be with your Mom as an introduction or interview. Let your Mom decide which person she likes the best. It is so important if everyone has common interest. That was so very important to my Dad, but the 2nd and 3rd shift he just wanted someone in the house so he wasn't alone.

Later Dad decided to sell the house and move to senior living. It worked perfectly. Dad never realized how much money he could save living in Independent Living [later Memory Care].

With the funds Dad was saving he was able to bring his 1st shift caregiver but shorten her hours a bit [the facility gave the ok once she was vetted through her Agency]. Again, routine.
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I think your best bet would be to hire a live-in caregiver so your mom can stay in her home that is familiar to her.
When the caregiver wants some respite time off that would be a good time for your mom to visit you or your sister.
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If you have the money live split shift care givers would be best 12 hour shifts. When they need time off as suggested that is when you bring her to your homes.
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PeggySue2020 Mar 2022
Yes. Crucial. My friend had a 24/7 that had come directly recommended by friends. Scammed him out of tens of thousands, Had joint accounts set and was persuading him to gradually cut ties with my friend… who was going to see him. A medical crisis finally brought this to light. She had to spend for an attorney to make the 24/7 leave. She got him into a brook dale al with a private career there. There wasn’t much to the inheritance left either.

Get two people if 24/7 required. If not feasible and u cannot take him, it truly is best to put him in al.
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