No one seems to care but me. My 93 year old Mom has been relatively healthy but this past year she seems to decline by the day. Her hands tremor at times, she is weak, afraid to walk and feels unbalanced, is bored, anxious, agitated, fluctuates in appetite, has gained weight in the stomach, has a puffy face, and wants to sleep a lot. Her doctor seems to do nothing and she won't listen to anything I suggest. We have a fantastic MD and ND right near us and she refuses to be open to help. Any ideas?
I totally agree with getting her to a geriatrician. But also know that at her age, some docs will just tell you to accept whatever is going on, that at her age, things start to go downhill. That's basically what my 94-year old mom's female internist told me when I took her for her weight loss and desire to isolate herself. I wasn't happy with that answer, so I took matters into my own hands and have put 14 pounds back on my mom. But she wasn't having the kind of symptoms your mom is having. Good luck and keep us posted.
She has hardening of the arteries and eats pretty healthy actually. She craves exercise even if she walks only a little bit. Mentally she is pretty with it but emotionally like a 4 year old. Also, I notice she doesn't follow jokes, or have patience for more than a few words. She demands to be listened to and talks non-stop about nothing. She can't sit still without her hands moving or playing like a restless 8th grander.
I'm going to look into Parkinson's. If the doctor noticed it I bet he wouldn't tell her knowing she's too emotionally volatile.
I feel guilty that I can't help her but she really won't allow me to.
Sounds like your Mom has accepted being older, wish my Mom would as my Mom thinks there are miracles to help with her hearing and her eyesight.... she wants to keep searching for that doctor that has that magic wand.... [sigh].
I always go into the doctor's office with my parents, otherwise later in the car I can hear them talking about their appointment and I am wondering if they both were at the same appointment that I was :0
Do you accompany her to doctor visits? What does doc say about puffiness? The increased sleeping? The tremors? What kind of doctor is her PCP? Is that the MD near you? Has she seen a geriatrician?
The puffy face and weight gain in the stomach would be a concern that something is going on.
Mom's Dr is an internal medicine specialist and he has high internet reviews. Mom doesn't let me in to see him with her. She hates if I ask a question or talk to him. She wants total control of his attention. She can't be reasoned with.
Once in a while, the doctor asks Mom's permission if he can talk to me with her and once in a while he'll talk to me aside, but he really hasn't offered anything new or different. He just says, "Well she's not getting any younger."
I ask him about supplements and nutrition and he doesn't know anything and gets nervous if I ask him anything. If I suggest something, Mom yells at me: "Look I'm old and there aren't any miracles for me. I don't want to talk about it."
Mom is independent living and next week she at least moves to a senior community where there are elevators, library, fitness room and things to do. She things she is going to feel different there. Yeah, for maybe a few months. All the while she says, "if I make it there."
Should i just resign myself to a bystander?
See All Answers