Mom died 2 years ago, dads 80. Alzheimer's ran all through his dad and uncles and aunts. So far so good. Dad moved in 2 years ago, he is not as active as he was before as he was working full time. Now he sits all day. No physical or mental activity. He has a computer, smart phone, car and anything he needs basically. Trying to get him active, he is now active in a church which is great. Pushing him to get more active in clubs but he doesn't go much (always an excuse).
My wife and I went out for 2 hours yesterday. Came home and it looked like we got ransacked. Drawers in the kitchen open, scissors left out, lights on all over the place. Hall closet doors wide open and dog gate away from the steps with his shirt hanging over it. It was like he just walked through and left everything open intentionally. I asked him about it and he was like "I don't remember that"...... It was within maybe an hour. I asked him what was was ding and he said he was looking for an item to give a friend of mine (he goes to church with) and I assume putting dog food away.... "then I got tired" (it was between 2 and 4 pm).
He has always been forgetful and left everything for mom to take care of. This was totally out of the norm. My wife and I are going away this weekend. We are boarding our dog as he wont pay attention to her. My wife is very worried as he has previously left the oven on and fallen asleep, left the doors unlocked in the house. While he lived on his own for 2 months He used to forget his dog was outside and it would be out all night walking all over his neighborhood or.
I know I am probably blowing this out of proportion but it does concern me. I am trying to get him to walk or get active but he wont. He does see Dr.s so that is good but what else do I look for?' Do I get surveillance tools for the house? It was hard for me to get over the guilt moving him in and my going out and I am just getting to the point where I get out with my wife more often but now it is a different list of worries. I try to let him alone and be responsible for himself as mom did it all. An I try to give him space as we like our space (for now it works). He has his own living area but we eat dinner together.
I work at home so I see him every day all day. Now what do I look for? He does his laundry, drives handles his bills (I watch over them). I know what dementia and Alzheimer is and can see when it starts (have 2 elderly friends who are in the middle of it now). Tiers has been a long time coming but what are early things to look for? Am I just being over concerned?
Not a hypochondriac but concerned.
Angel
Could you take him with you this weekend?
Seems as though things have changed, alarmingly. Memory lapses, confusion, not taking care of the dog, leaving the stove on....these are all indicative of more memory loss and confusion.
Your caregiving role is about to be changed; he needs more supervision NOW. I wouldn't even consider leaving for a weekend unless you can find a respite place for him. It's not safe for him, you and your wife or the dog for him to be alone.
If your Dad was always the absent minded professor, that's one thing, or as you had mentioned in your post your Dad always been forgetful so your Mom had to tidy up.
Sounds like your Dad was so use to your Mom tidying up after him that he never paid attention to shutting doors, putting things back in their place, turning off lights. My sig other is that way, too, his Mom and late wife had spoiled him to a point where he didn't need to learn to do anything for himself. That drive me up a wall, as I like my house in order.
One thing I found is that I had learned so much about dementia/Alzheimer's that now I tend of over-analysis what I see my boss, my sig other, my Dad, and even myself doing. Where in reality, it is just our normal age decline and nothing more.
Whatever doctor you take him to, also take a concise list of changes in personality or behavior that concern you, and see that he or she gets it before your husband goes in.
Because he is impaired, it sounds like it may no longer be safe to leave him alone for an hour or more. This does NOT mean that you and your wife need to be with him 24/7. That would be risky for your marriage and your sanity! It does mean that it is time to start making arrangements, either for in-home help or possibly a care center. A compromise might be day-care center participation.
I wish you all the best as you enter this new phase of caregiving.
A reasonable portion of rice pudding for breakfast or with lunch is not going to put him in a coma. 9 ounces a day, especially in one sitting is probably not a good idea, but try not to see this as all-or-nothing. Portion control is critical -- totally eliminating some cherished foods is a bad idea, in my opinion.
You are taking care of yourself in order to be in better shape in old age. Awesome! Keep at it! Dad is already in old age. In a sense it is too late to prepare for his old age! Eating better and being more physically active would be good for his overall health. But it won't change the basic fact that he is cognitively impaired (perhaps has dementia). Eating sausage and potato rolls for lunch is not going to make the mental decline happen faster, and eating a nice chef's salad isn't going to stop it.
Because he has diabetes it is important to help him keep watch on his carb intake. But that doesn't have to mean he never has rice pudding or potatoes. It means you gently help him control portion sizes.
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