I feel guilty but really need this time - it's only once/wk. I've tried to explain to her that I need a day off, since I work full-time. I usually spend Saturday's shopping with her and doing whatever else needs doing. We sometimes play a card or Scrabble game together. I wish I could provide more social life for her, but at 97, it's limited. I really need my Sundays off, and hate feeling guilty about it.
If you have senior companions in your community (look up RSVP in your phone book), they may have someone who could visit with your mom some days. There may be someone from your church who visits elderly people alone, as well.
But you absolutely have the right - and likely need - to have a day for yourself. Your mom gets lonely, which is understandable, but you have to take care of yourself, as well.
Carol
Otherwise, if you do not, YOU will become the one who becomes resentful!! Stop beating yourself up: you deserve it! Slot out some time for yourself every day, as I do. If she doesn't like it, too bad!! She doesn't own you!
Guilt seems to be a constant companion when you are a caregiver. Try to push it to the background and don't let it control your decisions. You need to work. You work. You need a day to yourself. You take it. As long as you are providing for your mom's safety and comfort, you need to take care of your needs, too.
We may know what we need to do, but it doesn't mean it's something we are ready to do yet, or are even capable of. Some of us are capable of the separation, or the taking of a break, but not all can live without the guilt. So be nice. Encouragement works better.
You cannot keep giving of yourself, if you do not put into your OWN bank. You can try of course, but at some point you will come up dry. Trust me, you don't want to go there. It's a sad and scary place, and there is no one there to take care of you.
If you begin to hear those little voices in your head telling you that you are being selfish or mean, tell them to STFU! If there are any people in your life telling you that you are mean and selfish, tell them "I" said to STFU!
Even the very nicest and sweetest and kindest patient in the world can suck the life out of you. TAKE A DAY OFF. TAKE 2 or more if you can. If you have a crabby nasty patient, TAKE 3 or more, or just haul them out to the trash on Monday. ROFLMFAO!!!
KariSue, you are giving your husband an awful lot of your time. I suspect you are the one paying for his being in the hospital by working fulltime. Give yourself a break honey!!! I know you love him, but Please for the sake of your physical and emotional health take either Saturday or Sunday ENTIRELY for yourself! Maybe consider only 1 phone call a day as well? I think if you continue on like this you may break down. Then who would care for your husband? For certain there would be no one to take care of you.
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